Perdition
by Marina Black1
Summary: The road to perdition is fraught with violence, anger and heartache...the way back to redemption is twice as bad. John Murphy lost his way in the world long ago. He vows to numb the pain with bloody revenge yet she was the only one who wasn't there to watch him hang for a crime he didn't commit. Hurting her was never an option... *Murphy/Raven* /M/ Spoilers: 1x10. Give it a try!
1. Chapter 1

Watching the life drain out of Connor's eyes was supposed to bring comfort to John Murphy. The only problem was, it didn't. Pulling away the bloody rag, Murphy stood over the corpse of his enemy with a haunted look in his eyes. Why didn't he feel better? Smiting his enemies should have soothed the ache raging in his soul; he was sure it was the only option. Nausea churned in his veins and he staggered toward the opening of the drop ship, tossing the soiled cloth aside as he went. Violently pushing back the curtain, he inhaled the ice cold air deep into his lungs. It was a blessed relief against the heat of anger that boiled in his gut.

Night had fallen and the camp was mostly deserted except for those who were on watch and the occasional straggler. Bellamy and Clarke had gone to bury those that they'd lost. If he had his way, they'd be digging their own graves before long. Murphy's revenge wouldn't be complete until everyone who had hurt him suffered for their crimes. Perhaps after they were all gone, he might finally be able to find peace.

A choking cough dragged Murphy out of his thoughts and he hurried back into the drop ship. It was the girl…the one who had come down after the rest of them; the _only_ girl who hadn't stood by and watched him hang for a crime he didn't commit. "Hold on," John called to her as he filled up a metal cup with water and brought it over to her. His hand slid gently behind her neck, gingerly cradling her head as he offered her a couple sips of water. He couldn't help but laugh when she began to drink thirstily from the proffered mug, "Whoa, take it easy there, tiger. Little sips..." She was still extremely pale and her face was caked with blood from the fever. What stood out starkly were the streaks running down her cheeks where her tears had washed away the grime. Despite everything she'd been through today, she smiled at him. New warmth spread through the core of him, totally unfamiliar though not wholly unwelcome, "How are you feeling?" He probed gently.

"Kind of like I coughed up my lungs…but I guess I kinda did, huh?" Sitting up a little too quickly, Raven braced herself against him as her vision swam. "Sorry, head rush…" Murphy's hands were warm and soothing against her. Taking a shaky breath, she accepted another couple sips of water while she waited for the room to stop spinning. Luckily, it passed fairly quickly, "Thanks."

"Don't mention it," Murphy replied. She had him feeling more than a little off kilter. He wasn't used to anyone actually talking to him as if he were normal. Mbege had been his only friend and their bond had been forged from being stuck down here, angry at the world for all its injustices. They both shared similar stories; they had lost their family and become frightened orphans fighting for every scrap.

Murphy's father worked on hydra station doing the heavy lifting and working the machinery that kept everyone on the Ark alive. Without the constant vigilance of hydra station's workers, there would be no water. Without water, they'd all be dead within three days. Murphy's mother had never been quite right and it only got worse as she aged. There were crying jags and shaking spells; she could never quite hold it together and medical never did anything for her other than tell her to relax. The only thing that seemed to help was a little bit of the illegal herb that agro station was growing in secret. Murphy's father diverted just a little bit of extra water their way and the farmers supplied his mother with what she needed to survive. Murphy was eleven when the chancellor ordered a surprise inspection of hydra station and they soon found out about the operation. Murphy's father had been floated the next morning without a trial or any hesitation on the part of the Chancellor. Shortly thereafter his mother, unable to cope with the loss of her husband and the herbs she needed, committed suicide. Murphy was parentless and frightened, lost and hurt. He'd lashed out and ended up nearly beating a guard to death…

"Earth to Murphy?" Raven touched his shoulder gently and Murphy wrenched away from her as if he had been burned. "Shit! I'm sorry…you looked like you were about a million miles away." Holding her hand close to her chest, her face was instantly hot with shame. She was looking for that stupid metal raven that Finn had given her when they were kids. It was her go-to safety mechanism. If she wrapped her hand around the necklace and thought of Finn, everything would be okay. Except Finn had been purged from her life now. He had broken her trust and her heart; she wasn't going to play second fiddle to anyone. "Are you okay?"

Murphy averted his gaze a moment, "I'm still a little jumpy from being tortured…" He wasn't sure why he admitted it to her. It wasn't just the Ark that had abandoned him but also these people on the ground who had banished him. The grounders had been ruthless in their beatings and it only fueled his anger. He didn't deserve this, _any_ of this. They made him out to be a monster…and if they wanted a monster, a monster he would be. Gritting his teeth, Murphy turned his back to try and compose himself. It took several long moments and deep breathing to push his temper back down. He wasn't angry at Raven; he was far angrier at himself for scaring her. Grabbing a clean rag, he soaked it in a little water before handing it over to her silently. Taking a step back to give her some space, he licked his lips. Murphy had been sitting there during her exchange with Finn and he had been there as she cried herself out. It had been a long time since he'd accessed this side of himself but he actually wanted to comfort her. "He's a fucking dick, you know. You deserve better."

Meeting his gaze, there was pain in Raven's eyes. "I don't want to talk about it." The water felt cool against her face. She was honestly surprised at how quickly the rag was stained red with her blood. Murphy wrung it out and then tossed it aside to be burned with the rest of them. While he tidied up a bit, she peered around the drop ship. Almost everyone had cleared out now and returned to their tents. A couple of people were sleeping and she knew that she should try and get some actual sleep soon too.  
"Thank you for everything," she stood carefully, "For what it's worth, I don't think you're as much of a dick as everyone says."

Murphy snorted despite himself. Raven was far more amusing than any living soul he'd ever met. For the first time in a very long time, he genuinely smiled, "That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me." Rubbing his palms together awkwardly, he cleared his throat. "You should get some rest." He offered her a hand, "I'd feel better if you let me escort you back to your tent. You're still unsteady."

Raven thought about protesting but Murphy was right, she did feel weak. Plus, she really didn't want to sleep in the same tent as Finn. "I'm just going to sleep in the tent where the guns are stored. It won't be the worst place I've ever slept…" Her mother was a whore who openly admitted to sleeping with the highest bidder to get what she wanted. Why she decided to have a baby was really beyond Raven's comprehension…it was probably to manipulate the men she was sleeping with. Raven, too, had been failed by the citizens of the Ark. If not for Finn sharing his rations and looking out for her, she would've died of malnutrition and neglect long before this point.

Frowning markedly, Murphy shook his head, "Fuck no, you're recovering from the fever. You need a real bed." He rested a hand on her elbow, "Clarke told me about an open tent. She said it wasn't much but there are a couple blankets at least." He shrugged, "It can't be that bad. Come on…" Instead of fighting him, she just nodded and let him lead her out of the tent. It shocked the hell out him that she didn't cringe when he touched her. As soon as he pushed back the flap, the cold slapped him in the face. He shivered against it before he realized that she wasn't wearing anything but a tank top. His coat was in tatters, muddy and caked with blood, but he still peeled it off and rested it on her bare shoulders.

Huddling closer to Murphy for warmth, Raven didn't say anything when he laid his disgusting jacket over her. It was actually kind of sweet and, from what she understood, Murphy didn't do sweet. She wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth…even if it did smell awful. They hurried to the edge of camp where a dilapidated, lopsided tent stood. "They weren't kidding when they said it was small. At least there are no holes in the fabric." Slipping beneath the flap, Murphy came in behind her and they were immediately shoulder to shoulder. Raven cleared her throat, "This is really only big enough for one, I should just—"

"If anyone's just doing anything, it's going to me, Raven. You should sleep." Murphy peered hard at her, "I rested for most of the afternoon." Grabbing the folded blankets, he laid them out and then pulled one up over her. "The nice thing is it feels pretty warm in here…" Or was it warm because of her nearness? He wasn't sure. Licking his lips, he pushed himself onto his knees as he prepared to go back out into the cold, "You need anything? Water?"

Folding her arms over her chest, she stared him down, "Yeah, _you_…" Raven's breath caught in her throat a moment, "I mean, I need you to stay." That wasn't much better. Licking her lips, she cast her eyes downward, "You slept for maybe an hour and then you were looking after everyone who was sick. You need rest more than I do." Patting the space next to her, she shifted, "Lie down."

Murphy felt like his heart had dropped into his stomach. His dark eyes met hers and he knew she wasn't going to back down. "Okay…" He reluctantly capitulated. Tossing his jacket aside, he used some of the water to wash off before he crawled in next to her. It didn't feel right to be unclean when she was so pure. Murphy's heart galloped in his chest as he stared at the top of the tent, illuminated by the torches outside. Her shoulder was pressed against his and their hands were touching beneath the blanket. Her body just as stiff and rigid as his…though not in exactly the same places; how could he not be affected by her nearness? She was gorgeous and sassy and…she'd never want him. "At least we won't freeze to death tonight…" He let out a soft sigh, "Goodnight, Raven."

"Goodnight, John." After everything that had transpired, Raven expected sleep to elude her. Instead, she fell asleep quickly. It wasn't long before she rolled onto her side, molding against Murphy's warmth. Her head rested against his chest, listening to his soft heartbeat. Instinctively, Murphy's arms wrapped around her and cradled her close to him as she breathed rhythmically. Maybe it was a silly fantasy but for one night, Murphy wanted to pretend that he was loved. Holding Raven closer, he pressed a whisper of a kiss to the crown of her head before shutting his eyes and succumbing to exhaustion. The light of day would shatter the illusion but right now, he was happy to pretend.

* * *

**Confession time. I really like Murphy. I KNOW. He's a total ASS. And he's off kilter...but God, maybe he just needs a hug! Poor kid lost his dad, I filled in the blanks a bit about what I think Murphy's past was like. I want to know what you think! Are you interested in reading more of this fic? Are you secretly a Murphy fan? Haha. **

**SO MANY THANKS to my Beta JustVisiting80 who went down this dark path with me. She even drew me some flower and heart pictures so I didn't feel like an utter freak getting this down on paper. Now that it's out, I'm proud of it. I hope you like it too so please let me know!**


	2. Chapter 2

Raven was awake before Murphy the next morning. She had easily gotten used to rising with the sun and trudging over to the tent where the guns were housed. She had taken it upon herself to arm their people with the best ammunition possible**, **and that meant she needed to determine which of the bullets had soured and which were still viable. Honestly, ninety-seven years after the nuclear apocalypse, most of the gunpowder had degraded past usefulness. Still, she'd managed to rig a few bullets to work in their favor; enough to keep them safe until the Exodus ship launched and brought them better material to work with, at least. But what was the point now? They had used all the gunpowder they had to blow the bridge and save themselves from a massive grounder retaliation. Not to mention everyone who had come down from the Ark was certifiably extra-crispy; there was not a snowball's chance in hell they survived the crash and there was no salvaging any of the supplies they desperately needed to survive.

Besides, given the position Raven was in right now, she was afraid to move. Somehow in the middle of the night she had become so entangled with Murphy that she wasn't sure where he ended and she began. One of his legs was thrown over her hip while the other was tucked beneath them. She must have turned in the night because they were face to face; her arms were crushed against his chest as he wrapped her tightly in his warm embrace. Her forehead rested against his chin. It was incredibly intimate and yet, she didn't feel awkward. It felt strangely comfortable to be tucked in his arms. Truly, Raven would have stayed like this at least a few minutes longer if not forthe aching in her bladder. Gently wiggling herself from his grasp, she heard him groan. Murphy's hazel eyes fluttered open and she looked apologetic, "Did I hurt you?"

Murphy had slept peacefully for the first time in…as long as he could remember. Something about having Raven in his arms made him feel powerful though he couldn't pinpoint exactly why. Maybe it was the way she sighed softly with each breath or how she snuggled in tighter to absorb warmth from him. Any way he looked at it, Raven just made him feel _better_. "No, I'm fine, just a bit sore." He was sore alright; there was a thundering ache in his loins that responded instinctively to her proximity. He was a man, after all. How could he be unaffected by waking up with a beautiful woman in his arms? Murphy eased himself away from her, all the while praying that she didn't notice the erection tenting his tattered pants. Thankfully, she appeared to be blissfully unaware.

"I'll be back soon.I'm going to grab us some rations on my way back. Stay put," Raven offered. She hurried out of the tent and quickly freshened up. The last few days she had been feeling a little off, and the hemorrhagic fever she endured sure hadn't helped. On her way back she picked up several packets of rations and ignored Bellamy's annoyance when she took a spare set of clothes for Murphy. Padding back to the tent, she nearly cringed when she heard Finn's voice behind her: "We're not even broken up a day and you're shacking up with Murphy?" The disdain in his voice turned the blood in her veins to ice. Turning to face him, Raven frowned markedly. "What's it to you? We're not together anymore!"

Finn stood awkwardly, his arms folded over his chest. "I thought you might have come to your senses. A lot happened yesterday but…I love you, Raven."

Rolling her eyes skyward, she shook her head in disgust, "I thought I was clear last night, you may love me but it's not enough. Come on Finn, we're not on the Ark anymore. It's time to grow up and move on!" Raven shifted and sighed. "I'm not even angry. Not anymore, at least. So what if you had sex with Clarke? I'm over it. If it was a onetime thing and you needed to get it out of your system that would be a different story. But I think you actually love her…" Raven felt a little bad for Finn because anyone could see the stirrings of love between Bellamy and Clarke. Finn had killed all chance of ever being with Clarke when he lied about his relationship with Raven. Honestly, she chalked it up to karmic retribution for cheating on her and general asinine behavior. "What I do or don't do with Murphy or Jasper or _any_ guy in this camp? It's not your business anymore."

"He's a criminal, Raven! He forced a little girl to jump off a cliff! He held Clarke at knifepoint. Not to mention all the terrible things he did to the people around this camp just to make himself feel powerful." Finn cried indignantly, "He's just using you!"

"Oh you mean like _you_ used me to steal my mechanic suit to go on a spacewalk that ended up getting you thrown in the Skybox? How about how you used a month's worth of oxygen that the Ark desperately needed to survive?" Raven fired back, "How about _that_, Finn!?"

Finn stomped over to where she stood, his face molded into a mask of anger. "That's not the same as killing a child!" he yelled, "He's violent and dangerous. You don't even know him! You didn't see how vicious he was before Bellamy and Clarke banished him! You can't trust him."

Raven laughed bitterly, "You want to talk about trust, Finn? You _seriously_ want to go there?" Snorting derisively, she shook her head when he didn't back down, "Fine, let's do it! We've been together since we were kids. You said you loved me and then _ten days_ after you came to the ground, you go and cheat on me!" Raven rested a hand on her forehead; she felt dizzy all of a sudden from the crushing anger and the fact that she hadn't eaten since yesterday. "You didn't even tell her I existed, Finn."

"Raven, come on! I tried to apologize but you said you never wanted to talk about it!" His voice reminded Raven of a whining child who had been chastised for acting up. It made her even surer of her decision to cut him out of her life. "Just leave me alone, Finn…" But in true Spacewalker fashion, he didn't move a muscle. He was bound and determined to drive Raven past the brink of sanity. He kept talking but his words were becoming jumbled and hazy as her vision began to blur.

Murphy heard the exchange between Raven and Fin but he knew she could fight her own battles. It wasn't until he heard the argument growing more heated and Finn's footsteps drawing closer that he slipped out of the tent. Murphy was surprised that as soon as he reached her side, Raven reached for him. Wrapping an arm around her waist, he held her tight to him. Concern speared through him immediately; she wasn't looking for emotional comfort but physical support. Clearly she hadn't fully recovered from the fever. He felt it was his duty to step in on her behalf. "The lady made herself clear. Back off or we're going to have a problem." Anger was beginning to roil inside of him, dark and dangerous. Gingerly, he helped Raven into the tent and arranged one of the blankets to gently prop her up. "Eat something. I'm going to get you some fresh water." Grabbing the canteen, he moved straight toward Finn. "I'm not going to tell you again, Haircut. Back the fuck off…" The threat intensified the fire raging in Murphy's cobalt eyes.

Raising his hands in mock surrender, Finn took several steps back but it was clear he wasn't done yet. "If you hurt her—"

Murphy snarled in reply, "You'll what, Finn? Kill me?" Finn shrank away from him immediately. Murphy had always been terrifying; whether it was the bright blue eyes that burned with his emotions or the strong jaw that ticked when he gritted his teeth, he was a frightening sight to behold. "It's _you_ that's hurting her and I won't stand by and let it happen." Heading toward the water basin, his shoulder connected hard with Finn's as he knocked him aside. Finn staggered slightly, scoffing in protest while Murphy continued on his mission to get some water. "If I see you hanging around here again, it won't be just a warning I give you. We clear?" This time, Finn had the good sense to walk away but he muttered obscenities under his breath. On another day, Murphy would have decimated him for less…but he was concerned about Raven and that trumped the instinct to rip Finn apart piece by piece.

Hurrying back to the tent, Murphy knelt beside her. "Here, you look like you could use this." Her caramel skin was still sallow and pale but there was such a tenacious aura around her. He knew that she was going to bounce back soon enough.

"I could use something a little stronger," Raven teased, accepting a couple sips from the canteen. "Thanks…and I don't mean just for the water." Smiling gently, she pushed herself up onto her elbows, "You've saved my ass from falling over twice now. I owe you." Since she was feeling a little better, she decided to try eating a little bit of breakfast. Opening up a packet of rations, she popped a berry into her mouth and chewed thoughtfully. It sure beat the supplements on the Ark, which were little more than tasteless vitamin and protein packets meant only to sustain their could ever compare to the food on Earth, that was for sure. Offering him one of the berries, she frowned when he tried to refuse. "Hey, you need to eat too. I didn't see you stopping for a lunch break yesterday."

Murphy just shook his head, "I'm not the one on the verge of passing out, Raven." He shifted uncomfortably at the murderous glare she shot him, "I'm just looking out for you."

Raven rolled her eyes, "When are you boys going to realize I don't need to be looked out for?" She snapped. "What is it about me that makes you think I need to be coddled?" Sitting cross-legged, she finished off the berries before popping a couple of seeds into her mouth. She knew she needed protein; she felt exhausted despite how well she'd slept last night. Noting the discomfort in Murphy's features, she softened her gaze, "I mean it, Murphy. I want you to be honest."

Floundering for a moment, Murphy cleared his throat several times before Raven pushed the canteen into his hand. Taking a steadying sip, he shrugged, "I don't know. It's not that I think you can't protect yourself. You dragged yourself down to that bridge while you were sick with the fever and nearly blew your ass to bits to save the people in this camp. You're hardcore, Raven. I know you can take care of yourself," Murphy quickly averted his gaze, "It's just that you shouldn't have to."

The anger she'd been feeling suddenly died away. Raven wrapped her arms around Murphy's shoulders and hugged him tight. His warm hands slid around her back, cradling her close to him, "Thanks. I needed that." Smiling, she pulled back, quickly tucking a strand of dark hair behind her ear. "By the way, I grabbed you some clean clothes. The mud look is really in right now but I think it's time for a change."

Laughing softly, he grinned at her, "Thanks, I appreciate that." Tugging his dirty old shirt over his head, he caught her gasp at the sight of his marred flesh. There were wounds and scars in various states of healing all over his neck and trunk. Some of the cuts had been cauterized shut and others left to fester on their own. "It's not as bad as it looks," he soothed.

"Like hell it's not! You need to see Clarke." Standing quickly, she narrowly avoided hitting the top of her head on the tent. Grabbing Murphy's hand, he didn't resist her as she dragged him out of the tent and they stomped toward the drop ship. "Clarke!**"** Raven called, "You in here?" She caught a glimpse of blonde hair over in the corner of the drop ship, "Hey, what's going on?"

Clarke sighed heavily, "Connor passed away last night. I'm trying to figure out what the cause was but I'm at a loss…" Looking between Raven and Murphy, Clarke's blue eyes caught sight of their hands clasped together. "He seemed to be recovering fine from the fever but when Harper came to get him for his guard shift, he wasn't breathing." Several of the boys carried Connor's body out to be buried with the rest of the fallen. "It's almost like he choked somehow. Maybe he aspirated some blood?" Clearly, Clarke was overwhelmed, "If my mother were here we could perform an autopsy…" But her mother was dead; she'd burned to a crisp when the Exodus ship crashed. Clarke tried desperately to hide the display of emotion as quickly as she could. She turned her focus back to Raven and Murphy, "Are you two alright?"

Murphy shifted uncomfortably as he flashed back to holding that rag over Connor's mouth until the life flamed out of his eyes. If Clarke suspected him of murder, it wasn't obvious. The entire time Clarke spoke, he felt such disgust. She was the reason that they'd strung him up and nearly hung him to death. She'd accused him in front of everyone. Sure, he heard her plaintive cries to try and stop the execution but it was too little, too late. He found his fist clenching tight, his fingernails digging into his palm. She was inches away from him now, he could wrap his hands around her throat and cross another enemy off his list. If not for Raven's presence, he might have** -** but even just standing beside her forced him back into the moment. He remembered how hollow killing Connor made him feel. It didn't soothe his pain; it only made him feel worse. Sighing softly, Murphy gritted his teeth. The sooner he got out of here the better, lest they realized the guilt that lingered in his eyes. "No, we're fine…" He tried to weasel his way out of it but of course, Raven cut him off.

"Murphy's been hurt really bad. I think a couple of the wounds look infected," Raven's hand rested against his shoulder to indicate the worst of them. There was a gash much larger than her hand, the flesh carved out from his shoulder and it looked awful. Clarke nodded her assent and quickly set about gathering some of the seaweed that had been used to save Jasper's life. Clarke instructed Raven to put the plant in some tea and have Murphy drink it twice a day. She also recommended they come see her again in a couple days. Taking the small packet, Raven nodded, "He'll take his medicine, don't worry."

"Thanks," Clarke replied and gave them both a gentle smile. "Before you go, you should know that Bellamy and I are assigning everyone in camp a buddy. We want to make sure what happened to Connor doesn't happen to anyone else. Maybe if he'd been turned on his side while choking, his death could have been avoided." Each person they couldn't save weighed heavily on Clarke's soul and it showed plainly on her face. "Plus it's a good idea to make sure you're never alone, especially outside the walls of camp. We don't know how long it'll be before the grounders try to retaliate again and we want everyone to be safe." Picking up several discarded rags covered in blood, she tossed them aside to be burned, "Raven, you're with Finn—"

"No," Raven replied harshly. "Finn and I are done. I'd like to be paired with Murphy." Searching the man's face, Raven was glad to find there was no anger there. He gave her a lopsided grin that warmed her to her soul. It didn't seem like he minded being her buddy at all.

Silence hung between the three of them for a long moment. Clarke swallowed hard before nodding, "I'll see that it's done. Make sure that you report anything suspicious to Bellamy or me, alright? And if either of you start having any other symptoms of the fever or difficulty breathing, come see me right away." Once she was sure that they understood, she went back to her work.

"Will do," Raven replied as they headed out of the drop ship. "I owe you yet again…we better not make this a habit," She teased as they casually strolled through the center of camp. "I want to head to the weapons tent. I think I've got an idea about how we can repurpose the metal from old bullets to make some new weapons. If I can pull it off, we might stand a chance against the grounders. If you're up for it, I could use your help."

Murphy nodded his assent. "Sounds good, let me just finish changing." Hurrying the rest of the way back to their tent, he dragged off the rest of his old clothes and changed into the new ones she'd procured from him. He used a little bit of water to wash away the rest of the grime before he rejoined her outside the tent. Smiling, he motioned for her to go ahead of him as he took one last look back at the drop ship. Murphy came back to this place for one reason and one reason alone: to take his revenge on those who had hurt him. Once he'd been banished the grounders scooped him up**;** he wasn't even sure how long he'd been locked up and tortured for information. When finally he was able to escape and he found himself among the hundred again, the fever was exactly what he needed to get them to trust him enough to let him back into camp. Connor had been crossed off the list; Bellamy and Clarke were next. And yet, he found that he cared more about helping Raven than accomplishing his mission. Her impatient voice dragged him out of his thoughts. "Are you coming?" Raven called, stopping a few paces ahead.

Turning his back on the ship, Murphy took a steady breath. "Yeah, right behind you," He called, jogging to catch up with her. Revenge would have to wait another day. Raven needed him…and he would never deny her anything.

* * *

**I want to personally thank all of you who took the time to read this and especially a big thanks to those of you who reviewed. I love these characters so much and I'm having such a stellar time writing for them. I have so much planned for this fic, if you are still interested. The only way I know if you're liking (or not liking) is if you review! So please let me know if you want more!**

**A huge shoutout to my AWESOME Beta JustVisiting80. Who is amazing and also writes an awesome fic called 'Seared With Scars'. She is awesometastic!**

**Happy Memorial Day and to all those who have served, thank you so much. God bless!**


	3. Chapter 3

Leaning over the flames, sweat beaded on Murphy's forehead. Over the last two weeks, he had spent almost every waking moment with Raven. Not only were they each other's buddies for protection but she'd gotten him assigned to help with her newest weapons project. It had taken some doing but Raven managed to extract enough metal and wiring from the drop ship to create bows. When she'd stood at the bridge, Raven caught sight of the crude bows that the grounders had made out of saplings and woven cord. With a little creativity she had come up with a way to improve upon them. The metal seats that had held the Hundred in during the landing were naturally curved but also hollow, so they wouldn't be too heavy. Once she detached the bolts and melted the open edges to a point, she had a ready-made bow with very little effort. After making a small hole in the center to thread the aluminum wiring through, she had created a weapon that surpassed anything the grounders had.

While Raven constructed the hardware, Murphy was melting down the empty bullet shells to create arrowheads. Several large rocks had been moved into the workstation for his use and a fire pit dug in the center of it. One by one, Murphy used a set of tongs that Raven had constructed to hold the empty casings in the scorching flame. Once he got the metal hot enough, he laid each on the flat boulder and struck hard to flatten them into the desired shape. Then he quickly dunked them in the water to cool and solidify the metal. After they were cool he set them into the pile to be used as arrowheads. It was a fairly complicated process but he'd become very skilled at it in a very short amount of time.

Still, Murphy had several burns along his hands and wrists from the sparks of the metal when he struck it and the heat of the fire, which he'd accidentally touched more than once. He'd grown accustomed to the searing pain by now; in fact, he almost liked it. It was a testament to how well he did his job. Gazing over at Raven, Murphy licked his lips. She looked exhausted. "Hey, you want to take a little break?"

Dragging a hand through her dark hair, she smiled softly over at Murphy. Setting down the tools with a clang, Raven hunched over the table and rested her head in her hands. "I shouldn't be this frigging tired," She huffed, clearly annoyed at being so weak. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Is it me?" Murphy set the last arrow he'd made into the pile and closed the distance between them. Furrowing his eyebrows, he leaned against the table to assess her. Her color was fine but there were soft purple splotches staining the tender skin beneath her eyes. "Am I keeping you up at night?" Murphy didn't think he snored but then again, he slept so soundly with Raven in his arms, he wasn't sure if he was disruptive or not. His stomach began to churn with uncertainty; had she'd grown tired of living in such close quarters?

"That's the thing," Raven replied fervently, "I've been sleeping _better _than I have in a very long time! You are definitely not the problem, Murphy. And with the amount of sleep I've been getting, I should be running laps around camp!" Yet every step she took felt like such an effort and it was getting hard to complete her work without nodding off. Scrubbing her hands over her face, she tilted her head, "Who knows? I think we could both use a water break though. You're soaked." Pointing Murphy toward the exit, she prodded him outside to their water station. All around the camp, people were hard at work. The guard posts were heavily populated and most of them still carried the guns as a scare tactic in case the grounders were watching. Raven was positive that they were. The grounders didn't seem the type to simply give up in the face of adversity; their ancestors had survived a nuclear apocalypse. Clearly they were from some pretty hardcore stock. It didn't make sense for them to surrender; they were simply biding their time.

Rubbing her hands together for warmth, Raven broke the ice that had formed on the top of the water before digging her small metal cup in to get some of the cool water. Handing it over to Murphy first, she waited for him to drink his fill before taking a couple of sips. The cold was a welcome relief from the warmth of the tent. Winter's frosty hand crept over the land slowly and steadily. Most of the trees had shed their leaves now and it was getting harder and harder to find food. It wouldn't be long before the snow came and life got even harder for all of them.

Murphy noticed that when Raven didn't eat, she started to get spacey. "I'm going to grab you some rations. You didn't eat much this morning...maybe you're tired because you need more protein or something?" Murphy shrugged noncommittally, "You should talk to Clarke about it." As much as he despised her, Clarke knew what she was doing when it came to medicine. He had come to realize more and more that killing her would be bad for all of them. He'd seen her stitch up cuts, splint sprained ankles and wrists, and provide comfort to those who were distressed. Also, in her defense, she had convinced Bellamy to let him stay in camp. It didn't mean he was going to let her live, of course…but he needed to make sure that there was someone who could take care of their medical needs. Until then, Clarke would survive.

"You're probably right. I guess I am a little hungry." Raven smirked at Murphy, "Stay where I can see you in case I need to save your ass, alright?" Bellamy was very strict about the buddy system. Safety was his primary concern…although Raven was pretty sure it also had something to do with keeping Octavia in check. Octavia had been paired with Miller and he was like a dog with a bone; she couldn't move more than two feet without him getting on her case. Honestly, Raven felt a little bad for her; clearly that grounder dude was into her. Maybe if Octavia got closer to him then they'd be able to find out what was happening. Raven wasn't about to suggest that to Bellamy, though. He'd probably chop her head off for even mentioning it. Sharp, girlish voices pulled Raven out of her thoughts as she turned around to face the camp's resident gossip girls.

Harper and her little girlfriend were standing several feet away, giggling like idiots. Raven vaguely believed the other girl was named Avalon but she didn't care enough to actually find out. Raven glanced back at Murphy who was engaged in a very intense discussion with Bellamy. Whenever Murphy got upset, his entire body seemed to tighten like a wire getting ready to snap. Raven stood ready to intervene but suddenly found herself in the middle of the lion's den. Harper sidled over to where Raven stood and nudged her gently, "So what's it like being with Murphy?" Harper probed while Avalon continued to giggle incessantly, "Looks like that boy could really pound the stuffing out of you. You couldn't have picked a better rebound…come on girl, throw me a bone! Is Murphy better than Finn?"

Raven had to physically hold herself back from decimating the little bitch and her infuriatingly bubbly sidekick. "I'm not fucking Murphy," She snarled, "And even if I was, I wouldn't tell _you_ about it!" Everyone knew that Harper was one of the most vicious girls in camp. She got her kicks from humiliating and tearing other people down. Raven wasn't going to stand for it. "You've got some nerve…" Her hand was automatically clenched into a fist, "You really have nothing better to do than stand around speculating about my love life, Harper? There's plenty of real work to be done. If you need an assignment I suggest you talk to Bellamy."

"Geez, I was just making conversation," Harper scoffed and rolled her eyes. "I can see why Finn broke up with you." Motioning to her little friend, she cast one last glance at Raven, "Maybe if you were getting some you'd be in a better mood." Brushing past Raven, their shoulders connected hard as Harper scoffed indignantly.

Blinding rage slammed through Raven instantly and she lost her head. Raven always had a fiery temper and living in a war zone hadn't moderated it any. "You fucking bitch," She thundered, pushing Harper hard. The girl stumbled and fell backward, letting out a shriek that turned every single head in the camp. "Oh so you can dish it out but you can't take it? Get up!"

Murphy had been mid-sentence when his attention snapped to the commotion. Cursing bitterly, he broke into a dead run, "Raven!" He yelled, his hands resting against Raven's shoulders to hold her back from kicking Harper's ass. "What the hell did she say to you?" Whatever Harper had done, it clearly set Raven off big-time. "Hey, calm down!" He tugged Raven closer to him to stop her from trying to scramble over him to beat the girl down, "Talk to me."

Raven didn't want to calm down; she wanted to teach Harper a lesson. Struggling against Murphy's vise-like grip, she quickly realized that no matter how hard she struggled, he was still stronger than her. After about a minute she began to realize that he was doing the right thing. If he let her go, she was going to beat that little bitch's face in so that she couldn't spread any more vicious rumors or lies. It took a long moment for her to compose herself. Exhaling sharply, Raven rested her hands on Murphy's broad shoulders, "I'm okay now, you can let go." But he didn't just yet, though his grasp loosened enough so she could easily slip away. Just by the look on his face, she knew he wasn't going to rest until he got the whole story. "She came over here to ask me if you're a good fuck."

It wasn't that Murphy was a bashful guy but he couldn't stop a blush from creeping over his neck. Cobalt eyes gazed over at Harper who was being helped up and dusted off by a couple of sympathetic onlookers. He wasn't even sure how to respond to that. Clearing his throat several times, Murphy finally asked the question that nearly burned a hole in his stomach, "What'd you tell her?"

"That it's none of her damn business!" Raven replied hotly, "I'm sick of her bullshit. We have bigger problems out here than who's fucking who! It's getting colder, the days are getting shorter, and at any moment the grounders could attack and kill us all!" Rubbing her temples, Raven felt the throbbing of a headache at the base of her skull.

"She can go float herself," Murphy replied harshly. "Come on, we've got actual work to do." Ushering her back to the tent, he set a couple rations up on her workstation. "I want you to finish those before you even think about tinkering." Murphy knew how Raven got; when she was into her work, she relentless. She remained laser-focused and wouldn't stop to eat or drink until she was nearly on the verge of collapse. He wasn't going to let it happen.

Raven sighed and plopped down next to Murphy. Peering at the packets, she frowned, "This is double what I should be getting." Before she had a chance to lambaste him, Murphy cut her off smoothly, "I convinced them that our top weapons consultant needs a little extra food to stay sharp. It's not forever, Raven, but you need to keep your strength up." It was a bald_**-**_faced lie. Murphy had collected both of their rations and given his share to her. Raven clearly needed it far more than he did. Thankfully, she didn't argue and his explanation seemed to soothe her.

"Is that what you were arguing with Bellamy about?" Raven asked as she tore into a package of jerky. "It looked pretty heated. I thought I was going to have to step in."

Murphy smiled at her tenderly, "Yeah. You know Bellamy…" At one time, Murphy had looked up to Bellamy as the older brother he'd never had. He had taken Murphy under his wing and treated him like a trusted companion. That all changed after Charlotte killed Wells and tried to pin it on him. Bellamy was so eager to allow him to hang despite Murphy's pleas of innocence; he'd even kicked the stool right out from under his body. In those few moments, Murphy had actually prayed for death. The fear of slowly choking to death would never stop haunting his nightmares. In truth, they hadn't been arguing about rations but rather Bellamy was making it clear that he still didn't trust Murphy and would always be watching him. Until Bellamy was dead, Murphy thought to himself. The sooner he could corner Bellamy and carve his lungs out, the better. Unfortunately the mandated buddy system was making that near impossible. Murphy would just have to be patient and bide his time. In the meantime, he set his sights on Raven, "Feeling better?"

"A little bit, yeah," Raven smiled. She'd finished off the food he'd brought her and some of her energy was returning. "I hope I didn't hurt you before...I was just pissed. I can't stand people like her. It's like she has nothing better to do than make everyone else's life miserable! You were right, though, she's not worth it." Shaking her head, Raven turned her focus back to constructing the bows. It wasn't long before the light began to fade from the sky_**,**_ which made their work extremely difficult. Even though Murphy had put another log on the fire, the dark had firmly taken hold of the blaze only illuminated certain parts of the weapons base but cast shadows over others. Even with the flashlights set up, it wasn't a conducive work environment. "I'm going to lose a finger if I keep trying to do this in the dark," She sighed and set the metal bow aside, "I think we should call it a night."

Nodding, Murphy doused the flames and helped her put the materials away for tomorrow. They walked in a comfortable silence back to their tent. Murphy made sure she was content before squatting beside her, "I'm just going to grab my rations and a bit of water before it freezes over again. Are you going to be alright alone for a few minutes?" Reaching under the rags that served as a pillow, he grabbed a small knife and handed it to her. "Just in case…"

Raven snorted derisively, "Murphy, I think I can manage not to get myself into trouble for five minutes! Take your time." As he trudged away, Raven laughed to herself. Murphy wasn't at all what she'd expected. Nearly everyone at camp had taken it upon themselves to warn her how dangerous Murphy was. Raven could hardly go a day without someone reminding her that he was a sociopath with a penchant for violence. Yet Murphy hadn't so much as laid a hand on her, even when she'd been pounding against his chest in an attempt to rip Harper's stupid face off. He'd simply held her until the rage passed and she could think clearly again. Of course she knew that Murphy was attracted to her; she wasn't blind, for God's sake. Yet he hadn't so much as made a move on her even though they slept in each other's arms every night. Sure, they always started off on their own sides but no matter what, they always ended up in the middle of the tent, wrapped in each other's arms. He could easily have twisted that to his advantage but he never did. Murphy may have had a dark past but Raven wasn't convinced he was the monster they made him out to be; nobody who showed that much restraint could be a total animal.

Murphy stalked through the center of camp, tracking Harper's movements as she flitted from tent to tent to spread more gossip. She'd ditched her frumpy sidekick somewhere along the way. It was clear that Raven's warning hadn't fazed the bitch in the slightest. Easing along the backside of the tents, he finally caught her. Wrapping his hand around Harper's mouth, he dragged her back against him; his other hand gripped her neck. "Scream and you're dead, do you understand me?" Harper's body twisted in a pitiful attempt to get free but Murphy tightened his hold on her throat, "I said do you understand me?" He hissed.

Harper nodded, tears streaming down her face. Ever so slightly he loosened his grasp. "Listen to me very carefully," Murphy's voice was thick with malice. "Stay the fuck away from Raven. If I catch you anywhere near her, I will slit you from nose to navel and watch you bleed out in front of me." Harper's sobs grew more desperate and he shook her to quiet her down. "Find a way to make yourself useful around camp. Stop wasting everyone's time with your bullshit. There's plenty of work to be done." The little bitch whimpered and Murphy took a shaky breath. Every instinct he had screamed at him to wring her neck and end her pitiful existence...but she wasn't worth the trouble. "One more thing, Harper, and this is the most important part. If you tell anyone about this you will wish that I killed you. Do you understand me?" There was a beat of silence, "Nod if you understand." At least she had to good sense to follow his instructions. Her tears poured over his fingertips, hot and thick. "Good, then we're clear." Easing his hands away from her, Harper collapsed in a puddle, blubbering and begging for her life. Turning his back, he strode away from her with renewed purpose.

Once he refilled their canteen, Murphy headed back to the tent. When he pulled back the flap, a small smile slid over his features. Raven was already out cold, her breathing soft and even. Carefully, he kicked off his boots and eased under his blanket beside her. It was still early but he didn't want to risk interrupting her sleep later on. The moment he lay down, Raven rolled toward him. Pulling the blanket up around her shoulders, he sighed contentedly as she snuggled in closer. Maybe he would never be the hero of the story but when Raven was tucked in his arms, at least he didn't have to be the villain for once.

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**So, not a lot of reviews in the last chapter...I'm going to chalk that up to the holiday weekend. I want to thank our service men and women for fighting for our freedom! This chapter is dedicated to you. **

**I've already written chapter 4 of this fic and its with my AMAZING editor JustVisiting80. If I get enough reviews, I miiight post it before the 100 episode airs on Wednesday. Remember, I don't get paid to write this stuff! Your reviews are what keeps me motivated and writing for you. I hope you are still enjoying so please let me know! Let me hear your voice!**

**Happy Memorial Day!**


	4. Chapter 4

The first blow to Murphy's face ripped him out of a peaceful slumber and put him immediately on high alert. Raven's body twisted and she thrashed, her razor-sharp elbow slammed into his gut. The wind left his lungs with a sharp whoosh and he coughed violently. "Raven!" Catching her arms before she could do any more physical damage, he leaned over her. His heart twisted in his chest, he could see that her face was stained with tears that leaked from beneath her closed eyelids. "You're having a nightmare, wake up…" Brushing her dark hair from her forehead, she was soaked in sweat.

Disoriented and flushed, Raven clawed her way back to consciousness. Her eyes stung harshly with tears and sweat. In her current state she momentarily forgot where she was and the events of the last few weeks. "Finn," She whimpered as she wrapped herself around Murphy. "I can't stop remembering…" Leaning in, she grasped his cheeks and kissed him hard on the mouth, "Make me forget..." Her fingers slid against his hips, loosening the waistband of his jeans. "I need you, Finn. Please…"

Murphy felt like his heart had been ripped from his chest. Raven's body was wrapped tightly around him, her mouth pressing hot kisses to his face and neck to entice him. He was achingly hard and it would be so easy to succumb. Tilting his head back, it took Murphy half a second to garner enough strength to resist her. Cupping her cheeks, his voice was harsh with need, "Raven! Stop, I'm not Finn…"

Horror speared through Raven as she tore away from him, "Oh God…Murphy." Tears continued to burn down her cheeks, not from fear but in shame. In her hazy mind, she was transported back to being a scared fourteen-year-old girl, alone on the Ark. Raven's mother was out with one of her 'friends' and, as usual, Raven was alone. She had been half awake when she realized that there was a man standing over her. He grabbed her, holding her against the bed as he tried to push her further back into the bunk. Terrified, she kicked and punched but he was easily three times her size. His rough hands tore at her nightgown and she violently bit him until she tasted blood. He roared with agony and she screamed and screamed until he struck her into silence. It had been Finn who came running in and managed to hit the man over the head with a chair hard enough to knock him out. The guard_**s**_ came and collected the vile man for his execution. That night, Finn held Raven until the screaming stopped. He was infinitely tender with her as he helped her get cleaned up and gave her one of his shirts to wear. He didn't leave her side for days after that. Raven had nightmares every night; she felt so lost and confused. It took several weeks before she started feeling safe again. One night she had awoken from an epiphany_**-**_Raven suddenly realized that it was the powerlessness that had scared her. Reaching for Finn, she'd lost her virginity that night and reclaimed her power. The experience had shaped her into the woman she was today. It had become a habit, reaching for Finn to soothe the ache she felt whenever those dreams haunted her. Murphy had nearly become a casualty of that. Her hand slid over his chest. "I'm so sorry…"

"_Don't_," Murphy brutally cut her off, wrenching away from her and stepping out of the tent. He needed a shock of cold air right now or, by God, he could not be responsible for his actions. Dragging a hand through his hair, he strode several paces away from the tent. Murphy leaned his forehead against the cool wood of the barricade to try and calm himself down. Taking several deep, steadying breaths, his soul ached. He could hear Raven crying softly in the tent and he felt such desolation. Honestly, he thought that tears had ceased to have any effect on him years ago. His mother had been extremely emotional and would swing violently from happy and cheery to crying and moaning without warning. It also hadn't bothered him when Harper was blubbering in fear either. Yet knowing that Raven was hurting tore a hole in his chest; he couldn't leave her like that. Staggering back to the tent, Murphy eased down beside her again, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lose it. I'm not angry at you, Raven," He explained, "I just needed a moment to compose myself."

"What!?" Raven snapped at him, glaring at him through her tears. "I attacked you, Murphy. _I'm_ the one who should be apologizing." She took a small sip of water to soothe her throat, "I thought I was over it, honestly. I haven't had a nightmare in so long. I just feel so overwhelmed right now, I think that's what's triggering it." They'd finished all the bows and arrows almost three weeks ago and yet there was no sign of the grounders. It made her anxious. The grounders were waiting for them to become complacent and to loosen the reins so it would be easier to strike. Already half the camp was complaining about the extra guard shifts and the training that they were all going through to determine who would focus on hand to hand combat and who would receive instruction in archery. Not to mention, she still wasn't feeling her best and was starting to worry there was something seriously wrong. Raven wouldn't be the first Zero G mechanic who ended up with blood clots or a heart condition due to the nature of their job. She gazed at Murphy softly, "I want to explain."

Murphy dragged a hand through his dark hair, "You don't have to, Raven. You don't owe me anything. You had a bad dream, it happens." He swallowed hard, "You don't need to dredge up any bad feelings, okay?"

Raven smiled gently, "I want to. After what just happened, I owe it to both of us." Uncertainly she chewed her bottom lip, "My mother wasn't exactly what you'd call the parental type. She liked her moonshine and her men and she wasn't about to let a baby cramp her style." Gazing away for a moment, her hand rested against her belly instinctively. Exhaling sharply, she shook her head, "Finn was hardly older than I was but he lived next door. I was four when he first came to my rescue. He heard me crying in the room, I remember being so hungry…he shared his rations with me and from that moment on, we were inseparable. Finn became my everything." Swallowing hard, she found herself gravitating toward Murphy as she spoke, "Being young and alone, I was nearly taken advantage of by one of my mom's boyfriends. If Finn hadn't intervened, he'd have…I'd have—" Her voice cracked painfully.

Crushing her in his embrace, Murphy let out a heavy breath. "Raven…" He felt such overwhelming anger at how she'd been treated that he could hardly breathe. The thought of anyone hurting her was worse than the pain of his fingernails being ripped off. He'd have endured torture for the rest of his days if only to spare Raven an ounce of pain. Holding her closer, he closed his eyes. "You're the strongest person I know."

Resting her head against his chest, Raven sniffled softly. She felt such comfort as Murphy's hands gently rubbed her back. "I had to learn early on. If I didn't take care of myself, nobody was going to do it for me. I think that's why I deluded myself about Finn. He's the only person who ever cared about me so I overlooked how unhappy we were for so long." Sighing, she sat up straighter and peered into Murphy's cobalt eyes. As usual, Raven pushed down the pain and masked it with humor. She laughed softly, "So now that you've realized I'm all kinds of crazy…what about you?"

Raising an eyebrow, Murphy chuckled along with her although he wasn't sure he got the joke. "What about me, Raven?" One look at her expression and he knew what she wanted. "You want to know why I'm a freak," He replied matter-of-factly. It took him a moment before the words began to pour from his lips. "My mother had been sick for as long as I could remember. She had terrible mood swings and depression. Because we were workers, her illness was always pushed aside. It was my father who found out that some of the herbs that Monty's family grew helped my mother cope. So, he diverted a little bit of water to agro station so they could keep growing the herbs." Murphy felt like he was tearing himself open stitch by stitch. "Most of her care fell to me because my father was always working. I cut class a lot so she wouldn't be alone. She wasn't a bad mother, don't get me wrong. On her good days you'd never find a more caring or doting mother." There was an unspoken understanding that when Murphy's mother was at her worst, it was far from pleasant. "When I was eleven the council found out about what my father was doing. They floated him…" His breath hitched in his throat, "He begged for mercy and they sucked the air out of his lungs while my mother and I watched." Pain mixed with anger raged inside of him but he forced himself forward. "My mother committed suicide a few days later. I was so angry, Raven…" He tightened his fist, "I'm _still_ angry."

Gently, she laid a hand on Murphy's shoulder to comfort him. "Looks like neither of us had the idyllic childhood that everybody dreams of." Except Murphy hadn't had someone in his life to comfort him. He'd grown bitter and violent in lockup; the wounds he sustained had festered with the infection of his hate. Swallowing hard, Raven sighed, "I like to think that the ground is our second chance. We don't have to live by their rules anymore. We can be whatever we want and nobody can tell us what to do. It's up to us to make this a world worth living in."

The way Raven looked into his eyes, Murphy almost believed. Second chances seemed too farfetched; especially for men like Murphy. Nobody around here believed he could be redeemed except for Raven. It was something he was going to have to think long and hard about. After a long beat of silence, he cleared his throat, "We should probably try to sleep. We've got training in the morning."

Raven nodded in agreement. Lying down beside him again, she shivered against the bitter cold. Usually they ended up huddled together after both had fallen sleep but tonight she snuggled in and pulled the blanket up around their shoulders, "I don't care what anyone says, Murphy. You're one of the good guys."

Wrapping his arm tighter around Raven, Murphy shut his eyes tightly. Honestly, he wished he could believe her but he just didn't. His instinct was to kill to protect himself from harm and now that extended to Raven. Nothing would happen to her on his watch or by God, everyone would pay. Somehow, Murphy managed to fall asleep and the next thing he knew, Raven was frantically tapping him on the shoulder. "Murphy, we're going to be late for training, come on!" She urged. He cursed bitterly and quickly tugged on his boots. They hurried down toward the training area. Murphy's mouth curved into a frown as Bellamy folded his arms over his chest, "Nice of you two to join us. Okay! Listen up everyone, when I call your name step forward!"

Murphy counted to a thousand while Bellamy ran down the master list. They'd been 'evaluated' over the last week and their assignments really didn't come as a shock. The first group was made up of mostly women who had been chosen for the medic team. They'd train with Clarke, learning basic first aid and triage. After that, there was a scouting team made up of those smaller, lither individuals who would blend in and make the quickest getaway to warn the others of what was coming. The archery team was by far the most coveted by all. Raven had made twelve perfectly sculpted bows. Murphy smiled when Raven's name was called and she jogged forward to collect her assigned bow. Somehow, it didn't surprise Murphy at all that he didn't make the cut. He was put in the group of front-liners who would engage in hand to hand combat. Likely, he'd be the first the die during an altercation…Bellamy wouldn't have it any other way.

Trudging over to take his position, Murphy turned when Bellamy called his name. Reigning in his annoyance, he headed over to find out what the king of camp wanted, "Yeah?"

"You did a damn good job with the arrows. Raven informed me that you made them all by yourself…" There was a begrudging respect in Bellamy's voice. "I'd like you to construct some weapons for your team. There's a lot of metal left in the drop ship to be used. You think you can do that?" Bellamy crossed his arms over his chest in a stance that clearly denoted him as the alpha male.

"Yeah, I can do that," Murphy replied hotly, "What do you mean _my_ team?"

"It was pointed out to me that you're strong and you've got skills that most of these other guys just don't have. I can't train everyone here, Murphy. I'm leaving it up to you to whip these kids into shape." Bellamy clasped Murphy's shoulder tightly, "Are you up to the task?"

Murphy smirked despite himself, "Hell yeah I am." Tugging away from Bellamy, Murphy hurried over to where his team had assembled. They didn't have the hand-eye coordination of the archery team and most of them were pretty inexperienced when it came to combat but all was not lost. They had Murphy as their captain. "Listen up," His voice rose above the group, "This isn't going to be easy and it isn't going to be fun. Slacking off will not be tolerated. You do what I say, when I say, and maybe you'll stay alive. You don't have to like me…nobody expects that but you do have to respect me." That statement elicited chuckles from most of the group. "Now that we got that cleared up, I want to see what you've got." Tugging his jacket off, he rolled up his sleeves, "Line up. You're going to fight me."

Unsurprisingly, the men fell right in line. Most of them had violent temperaments to begin with but somehow they got a few stragglers. Murphy ended up with Jasper who fought like he was a newborn foal standing on shaky legs for the first time. He was going to have to make Jasper some kind of spear or lance so that attackers couldn't get close enough to strike; the goggled boy just didn't have the physical strength to go hand-to-hand with the grounders. Miller had some skills, a mace or flail would be his weapon of choice. As he moved people through the line, he was already planning ahead what kind of weaponry and armor he'd have to fashion. As noonday sun streamed down over them, Murphy clapped his hands. "Take a break. Be back in five…" He glared at each of them individually, "And I mean _five_, guys, not fifteen."

Ignoring the grumblings, Murphy headed toward the tree line. The archers were taking turns hitting targets with wooden arrows that Bellamy had crafted for training. Standing back, he smiled at how focused Raven was. She always put a hundred percent of herself into everything she did…yet suddenly he saw her waver. When she turned toward him his heart plummeted; her nose was bleeding heavily and she seemed to be staggering on her feet. Murphy broke into a dead run, catching her in his arms seconds before Raven would have crashed to the ground. "Get Clarke," Murphy thundered, "_Now_!"

To Bellamy's credit, he took the situation seriously and cleared a path immediately while he collected Clarke. Murphy carried Raven down the hill and into the drop ship. Laying her gently on the table, he grabbed a rag. "Get her on her side, I don't want her swallowing blood," Clarke was a millisecond behind him and already barking orders. He was grateful that she didn't dawdle. Murphy did as Clarke asked and then stepped back to let her work, "She hasn't been feeling well for a while now. I kept telling her to talk to you but you know Raven, she's stubborn. I should have insisted, damn it!"

"This isn't your fault, Murphy," Clarke soothed, "What are her symptoms? Tell me as much as you can and don't leave anything out."

Murphy took a steadying breath, "She's been weak and tired even though she sleeps well. I mean, I would know, that woman sleeps like dead." He bit his lip, "I mean, she gets up at night sometimes. She is always complaining that she has to pee every hour on the hour." Gazing down at her, he sighed, "Sometimes she's nauseous but once she eats, it seems to get better. I…I've been giving her some of my rations because she gets dizzy if she doesn't eat enough. But if you tell her that, I swear to God -"

Clarke shook her head, "Your secret's safe with me, Murphy." She used a cloth to gently wash Raven's face, "The bleeding seems to be stopping, that's good." Clarke splashed a little bit on Raven's face which elicited a groan as her dark eyes fluttered open. "Don't move just yet. Are you dizzy?" Clarke probed.

"A little bit," Raven sighed, "What happened?"

"You passed out," Clarke said softly, "You're lucky that Murphy came to your rescue before you hit the ground. He said you've been sick for a while now." Her eyes darted up to meet Murphy's before she helped Raven sit up all the way. "I think the two of us should talk in private, Raven."

Murphy gritted his teeth. He did not want to leave her side for a second…but he also didn't want to make Raven uncomfortable. "Whatever you have to say to me, you can say to Murphy." She sighed heavily, "I'm dying, aren't I? You can just say it, Clarke…I can handle it."

Clarke was momentarily taken aback, "Raven, I don't think you're dying." Gazing between Murphy and Raven again, she swallowed hard, "Given what Murphy has told me, I think…" Clarke bit her lip, "I think you're pregnant."

"Pregnant," Raven snorted, "No, I can't be! That's impossible."

"Are you on birth control?"

"Well, no, not since Finn got put in lockup…" Raven replied hesitantly.

"Are you sexually active?" This time, Clarke peered at Murphy.

There was a long pause. Raven stared hard at Clarke. "You have _got_ to be fucking with me." Burying her face in her hands, she cursed bitterly. Everything was falling into place now…the nausea, the mood swings, the hunger, and the soul-crushing exhaustion. "This can't be happening…"

Murphy cleared his throat. "Clarke, Raven hasn't eaten yet today…you mind grabbing her a couple ration packets, please?" Thankfully the blonde medic didn't argue with him. She hurried out of the drop ship like a woman on a mission. Walking around the table, he stood in front of her. Without another word, he dragged Raven into his arms. Raven's body wrapped around him instantly; she needed the contact desperately. "We're going to figure this out, okay?" That child might not have his blood running in its veins but he would never let anything happen to it or its mother. "I swear it on my life."

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**Lots of drama coming up! I'm enjoying writing this fic very much so I hope that you're enjoying too! This fic is going to be a very slow burn but I promise it will be worth the wait! I wanted to get this chapter up before we see what happens tonight on the 100! I can't wait! I'm super excited. A great big thanks to my amazing beta JustVisiting80. She is AMAZING. Run along now and go read her fics! **

**Be a dear, please read and review!**


	5. Chapter 5

"For fuck's sake, Murphy, stop hovering! I'm fine!" This had gone on long enough. Murphy was pacing in front of the tent like she was going to give birth at any second. Needless to say, it was driving Raven insane.

After her little episode, Raven had been relegated to the drop ship for the remainder of the afternoon so Clarke could assess her vital signs and monitor for signs of bleeding. It had been torture. Raven absolutely hated sitting still; she wasn't the type to put her feet up and relax. Twice, Clarke had yelled at her to rest and finally threatened to tie her down if she didn't. After about an hour Raven managed to nod off.

Murphy had very reluctantly left Raven's side shortly after Clarke returned with food. He had a team to lead and they had a long way to go before Murphy would feel comfortable putting these boys out into battle. Unfortunately, the war would wait for no one. That didn't change the fact that Raven was Murphy's top priority. Raven was almost afraid that Murphy was going to deck Clarke for even suggesting he leave her side. Thankfully, he'd reigned in his rage and came to the conclusion on his own that Raven needed to rest. Even though he left the drop ship, every so often one of the guys would stop by and bring back a report on her condition.

By sundown, Raven felt significantly better. She was no longer dehydrated and ate enough rations to satisfy her hunger. Murphy returned immediately after training to bring her home. Gingerly, his hand rested against the small of her back as they walked in silence toward their tent. Raven and Murphy hadn't discussed anything since he'd sworn allegiance to her and her unborn child. What could she even say to something like that? She was so stunned by his willingness to shoulder the burden that she hadn't had time to fully digest it. Ignoring the stares from people milling around camp, Raven slipped into the tent and wrapped her arms around her knees. Murphy puttered and paced until she finally lost her temper. Immediately she regretted how harshly she'd spoken_**,**_ and she cringed when he turned his full attention to her. Sighing, she grabbed his Murphy's wrist and pulled him into the tent. "Sit down."

Murphy wondered what the hell he was supposed to be doing. What would a _father_ do? It wasn't like Murphy had a lot of guidance in that department. His father worked so much that he was barely around. After long shifts on agro station, he would come home and collapse with exhaustion. The load of caring for his mother had always fallen on him_**,**_ but that's not what he wanted for this baby. He wanted this child to know happiness, to have two parents who cared about it and worked hard to bring him or her up right. Murphy wanted to be there for Raven and this kid but what it all boiled down to was that he really didn't know where they stood. He was a killer. Everyone in this camp blamed him for Charlotte's death. Why would Raven even want him around her kid? Since no answers came easily, he settled for staying busy; the longer he remained idle, the more the uncertainty wound through him. Somehow, that had pissed off Raven and to apologize he instantly bent to her will. Murphy sat cross-legged across from Raven and waited. Seconds ticked away and bled into minutes. Finally, he reached out and touched her shoulder. "Hey," He said softly, "You don't have to say anything, Raven."

"Don't I?" Raven let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "I'm _pregnant_, Murphy."

"I know that," Murphy replied, furrowing his eyebrows. "It doesn't change anything."

"Like hell it doesn't," Raven replied hotly, "How can you be so calm about this? I am _freaking_ out, damn it!" She let out a slightly hysterical laugh as she wrapped her arms around her still-flat abdomen. "You know what the worst part is? I _never_ wanted children…" Her face flushed hot, "I said it a hundred thousand times. I did not want to end up the kind of mother that mine was to me. That kind of shit has to be genetic, right? The safest way to avoid it is to never get pregnant..." She shook her head, clearly distressed. Pausing a moment, her fingertips traced a circle over her abdomen. "You know what the worst part is? I _want_ it. Not because I think I'd be good at it or anything but because it's _mine_."

Murphy rested his hand gently on her knee, "Raven, there's nothing wrong with wanting it." His thumb stroked against the flesh of her thigh soothingly. "Your timing sucks, there's no doubt about that," He smirked at the little smile that crossed her features, "But I'm going to be here. You're going to be an amazing mother."

"We are not your responsibility, Murphy," Raven replied, slightly exasperated. She didn't know why he was so hell bent on getting himself wrapped up in her drama.

"It's _not_ about responsibility!" Murphy frowned markedly, "You throw around that word like you're somehow holding me hostage. Everything I've done has been my choice." Reaching out, he cupped Raven's cheek, "I'm selfish. I do what I want, when I want, and I don't care about the consequences. At least, I never did until I met you, Raven…" He shrugged, "I still don't give a fuck about most things but you and this kid mean something to me. If you want this, I'm all in."

Licking her lips to moisten them, Raven stared into Murphy's dark blue eyes. There was no pity lurking in his gaze, only strength and solidarity. His palm was warm and rough against her face, soothing the roiling in her soul. Rising slowly, Raven eased toward him and slid into his lap. Her legs widened to wrap around Murphy's waist, her arms slipping around his neck as she bent to kiss him. Their lips met hesitantly at first. The kiss lasted only a second before Murphy wrenched away from her. Raven gripped his shoulders tight, "What's wrong?"

"We can't do this, Raven," His voice was already ragged with the thundering need that pounded through him. Breathing deeply was all he could do to stop himself from losing control.

Raven raised an eyebrow in confusion, "Why not?" Shifting slightly, she shivered as his arousal pressed against the core of her, separated only by thin layers of fabric. "Everything seems to be in working order…"

Growling softly, Murphy gritted his teeth, "That's _not_ the problem, Raven."

"Oh…" Her fingers slid down to her belly that had not yet begun to show the signs of its sweet burden, "This?"

"No…" Though it was a concern, "I'll hurt you." Murphy wasn't inexperienced in the ways of the world. He attracted a certain type of woman; the kind that came on strong and liked it rough. He had lost count of the times that the women he'd slept with had begged him to hurt them. The thought of marring Raven's tender flesh or of causing her any discomfort whatsoever was like a burning knife being jammed straight into his gut. Not only did he worry about hurting her physically but right now she was frightened and uncertain about the future. Murphy couldn't be sure if she wanted him because she had feelings for him or because she was overwhelmed and seeking solace.

Raven smoothed a strand of Murphy's dark hair, "You won't hurt me. I trust you." Capturing his lips again, she sought to push his jacket off. His warm hands rested against her hips and she realized after a moment that he was gingerly pushing her off him. Anger speared through her, "I don't _want_ you to be noble tonight, damn it. I want you to make me forget!"

Murphy's jaw ached from how hard he clenched his teeth. It took every shred of restraint he had to resist her, "Raven, _stop_." He hated himself so much right now, "I _want_ you but I'm not going to be the mistake you make when you're vulnerable." His eyes fluttered shut for moment, "I'm _not_ Finn. I won't try to fill the void with empty sex and false promises." Raven meant far too much to him and he refused to take advantage of her. Clearing his throat, he was having a hell of a time reigning in his desire. If she kept pushing, he would have no choice but to succumb and he'd never forgive himself for it. Murphy's voice was soft but fervent, "When…" He cleared his throat, "_If_ you're ever ready, I am going to be here, Raven. And if you decide you don't, I'm not going to walk away. You're worth more than sex." Taking a moment to compose himself, he finally broke the silence that hung between them, "We should get some rest. We've got a busy day tomorrow."

Raven's heart plummeted into her stomach. The reality of what Murphy said began to creep over her, turning the blood in her veins to ice. He was right about everything. She equated sex with comfort and look where it had gotten her: she was pregnant on this desolate planet and all alone in the world except for John Murphy who insisted on being her champion. "Thank you," Raven's voice was barely above a whisper as she lay on her back, her palm resting over her belly. Her thoughts were racing as she struggled to regain her composure. "I have to tell him, don't I? It's the right thing to do."

Murphy gazed over at her pensively, "I think a guy deserves to know he's going to be a father…" He swallowed hard. "If you want to be with him and raise a family, I'm not going to stand in your way, Raven. I'll always look out for you. It doesn't matter if you live in this tent with me or across the world. I'll always be there."

Raven shifted closer and molded against Murphy tenderly. Her head rested against the crook of his neck as it usually was when they slept. "I don't want to be with Finn. You were right… I used him to fill a gap in my life for way too long." Murphy cared about her too much to let her make that mistake with him and she respected the hell out of him for it. "Clarke said she wants to do some tests tomorrow. She didn't have time today with training the new medics. I've got to meet her at dawn."

"What kind of tests?" Murphy was immediately concerned. "Do you need me to be there?"

"Hell no, this is girl stuff." Raven smirked at him, "If I need you, I'll make sure that someone gets you, okay? Apparently there are a couple ways Clarke can confirm a pregnancy without a blood test but they're a little personal." Murphy didn't seem upset which Raven was grateful for. "I don't want to talk to Finn until I'm really sure." It wasn't going to be easy, she knew that. Finn's loyalties, once placed, were unshakable but she'd die before he saddled himself with a child he didn't want simply because he'd sired it. These were problems for tomorrow, she supposed. Clarke promised to give a definitive diagnosis, one way or the other…although Raven already knew the truth. She could feel the changes in her body, even as she tried to ignore them.

It stung a little bit that Raven didn't want him there but when it came to the medical stuff, Murphy was no help. Blood and gore he could handle but girl stuff? That was a big fat no way. "You'll tell me though, right? I'm not big on surprises, Raven."

Raven genuinely laughed and it felt incredible to let loose for once. "Yes, Murphy, you will be the first to know. I don't plan on dropping a kid without warning you first." Looking around the tent, she let out a sharp breath, "If I'm having a baby, we're really going to need a bigger tent."

Murphy joined in on the laughter as he wrapped her tighter in his arms. "Let me take care of that, alright? I'll talk to Bellamy tomorrow." He smirked, "I don't think the leader of the combat team should be sleeping in the reject tent."

"You're leading a team? Murphy, why didn't you mention that before? That's awesome!" Hugging him tighter, Raven felt such pride in his accomplishment, "Bellamy asked me about you but honestly, I thought he was just trying to keep tabs on you. When I told him how amazing you were with the forge and making all those metal arrows, he was shocked. He was really impressed with your metalworking skills." It was meant as a tease but they were both well aware of how Bellamy felt about Murphy. "I know you're going to be great."

"Thank you, Raven. That means a lot." Warmth spread over Murphy as he basked in the glow of Raven's praise. The effect she had on him was beyond anything he could have imagined. A month ago he had escaped from the grounders and returned to camp a hated man. Once he recovered from the fever they'd infected him with, his one and only goal was revenge against Connor, Bellamy, Clarke and all those who had strung him up to watch him die. Murphy wasn't quite ready to forgive and forget but it was clear his priorities had changed. Peering down at the dark haired woman who had once again fallen asleep in his arms, his heart swelled with tenderness. Raven and the child would always come first. Startlingly, Murphy was beginning to realize that his love for her was stronger than his hate…and he wasn't sure how to feel about that.

* * *

**How about that episode on Wednesday, huh? Holy crap I'm still reeling. As I told my AWESOME beta Justvisiting80 I need one of those thunder shirts they make for dogs except in people size. So I can wear one when I watch the 100. SO amazing.I loved it. And hey we even got a little Murphy/Raven moment. Show of hands, who was rooting for them? **

**I'm LOVING the reviews so please keep them coming if you want to read more. I have sent chapter 6 off to my awesome Beta and lemme tell you, shit is about to go down so hard. Let me know what you're thinking! The more reviews I get, the faster I upload!**


	6. Chapter 6

Leaping over a fallen tree, Finn's dark hair whipped in the breeze as he ran. She was tracking him through the murky darkness that shrouded the earth just before dawn. A pensive look crossed his features as he changed direction, winding his way back around the stream until she was ahead of him once more. Oval hazel eyes flicked back and forth through the woods, looking for any sign of movement. Suddenly she crouched, assessing a footprint that he'd left in the dirt. "I know you're close, Finn, I can sense you…" Her voice rose above the trees as she searched for any sign of movement, "You can't hide forever."

Laughing throatily Finn jumped down from an outcropping of rocks and spun her to face him. "Who said I'm hiding, Anya?" His hands slid beneath the fabric of her tunic and she instantly succumbed. Tugging her hips against his, he smiled as she widened her stance to accommodate him. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't gut you right here…" Anya's voice was a low, husky whisper.

Smirking, Finn grabbed a fistful of her dirty blonde hair and attacked her mouth. Easily supporting her slight weight, he pushed her back against a tree, her legs wrapped around his hips as he did so. Tugging her tunic over her head, she shivered against the harsh cold of morning and the sharp contrast of scalding heat burning in her loins. Anya's entire body quivered as Finn sucked one of her taut nipples into his mouth. Arching against him, Anya let out a feral cry of pleasure. Her fingertips slid down the front of his pants with the intention of tearing them off…but Finn's hands grasped her wrist and held tight.

"Patience, princess," Finn laughed throatily, "I have more than one reason why you shouldn't bite the hand that feeds you." Tugging away from her brutally, he pulled a blanket out of his pack and laid it on the ground. She protested the loss of his body heat, shivering against the harsh morning chill. Finn stalked toward her and picked her up as if she weighed nothing before covering her with his warmth. Divesting her of her tattered pants, he explored the contours of her naked body. Anya sighed with pleasure as he lavished attention over every inch of her until she was putty in his hands. His hands slid over her thighs to part her. He eased into her achingly slowly, just to torment her. Anya writhed beneath him, desperate to deepen their connection but it was no use; he wanted to go slow. She kissed him hard again, "Finn…" She murmured against his mouth as he drove her toward the inevitable explosion of lust.

Suddenly, Finn stopped cold and slipped from within her searing depths. He meant to drive her insane, to make her beg for it. "Say it," He demanded, pressing soft kisses to the pulse pounding at the base of her throat. "Come on, Anya…" She glared up at him with a look that was the perfect blend of lust, adoration and annoyance. "You know you want it…"

Exasperated, Anya wrapped her arms around Finn and leaned her forehead against his, "Fine! You win! Please, Finn, I need you…" Her admission was rewarded by being filled to the hilt, her body clenching hard against his. There was no shame in losing herself to this brave warrior who had outwitted her so thoroughly. Anya's pleasure slammed through her in waves, dragging her into a blissful state of ecstasy. As Finn spent himself within her, she wrapped her arms around him to hold him within her.

The cold felt wonderful against her sweat-soaked skin and the world was bathed in a rosy pink hue of early sunshine. Contentment washed over the two lovers as Anya snuggled against his chest. In Finn's arms, she knew that she was safe. For a moment she was all too happy to simply bask in the afterglow of their lovemaking. But pretty soon Anya's competitive streak came roaring back as her fingers slid through his hair, "You may have bested me this time but I don't plan on letting it happen again." Teasingly, Anya pushed Finn onto his back and straddled him, pinning his hands above his head. "Are you ready for round two?"

"Bring it on, princess. I was born ready," Finn laughed throatily before capturing her lips in a searing kiss. Sharing a secret grin, he was all too happy to play the submissive for the moment. At least they weren't at each other's throats anymore; this was a major step up from where they'd been two days ago. Breaking free of her stronghold, Finn gripped her hips. "Ride me," He demanded.

Just like that, they were joined again, blissfully oblivious to the danger that lurked beyond the trees.

* * *

Murphy stifled a yawn as he leaned against the side of the drop ship. Shortly before dawn, he'd gotten up and made sure that Raven ate a little bit of her rations before walking her over to meet Clarke. Per Raven's wishes, he'd remained outside the drop ship but he didn't venture far. His shoulder rested against the cold metal and his breath came out as a soft white cloud as he rubbed his hands together for warmth. The hazy red glow of morning light caught the glistening frostiness of the camp, making everything look pristine. Raven burst past the drape that hung at the entrance of the drop ship and Murphy was instantly at her side. Raven needed him…he could feel it in his soul.

Raven knew that he wouldn't be far away; he never was. Closing the distance between them, he opened his arms and she succumbed. It felt so good to be crushed in his embrace. For the longest time she simply stood there, absorbing his strength as best she could. Resting her head against his shoulder, she finally found the strength to speak, "Clarke said my cervix is blue."

Murphy paused to digest the information, "Is that bad?" He pursed his lips, "What the hell is a cervix?"

"Beats me…" Raven replied with a shrug, "But given my other symptoms, Clarke's positive that I'm knocked up." Taking a steadying breath, she pulled away from Murphy and wrapped her arms around herself, aching at thechill that crept up her spine. "I need to find Finn. I want to get this out of the way before the news travels around camp. You know it's just a matter of time before Harper and her bitch squad find out. They're all in the medic group…" Rolling her eyes skyward, she took a step toward the edge of camp.

Murphy wasn't concerned about Harper. If Harper wanted to live, she'd keep her mouth shut; but he wasn't about to mention that to Raven. Instead, he trudged after her. Finn's tent was clear across camp, as far away from Raven and Murphy's as it could possibly be. Raven pushed aside the fabric and crawled in but it wasn't Finn they found there. Monty looked up sleepily, "Hey guys…" He yawned. "What's up?"

"Where's Finn?" Raven demanded. Monty wiped the sleep from his eyes, "Umm…I haven't seen him in a couple days, actually. He told me I could sleep here if I needed to. Jasper snores and…you're already gone—"The flap of the tent swished in front of Monty's face as Raven thundered toward the center of camp. Murphy was hot on her heels as she headed straight for the weapons tent. "He's gone and we were too wrapped up in our shit to even notice! I'm sure the grounders have him by now!"

"Whoa, wait a second Raven," Murphy grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her to face him, "We don't know what happened." His heart twisted painfully at the collection of tears in her eyes. "I…" He looked away, his heart twisting painfully, "I know the way to their camp. I'll go after him, okay? Please don't cry…" His thumb brushed a wayward tear that dripped down her cheek. "I'll find him." Whether he'd be alive or not was another story. The grounders weren't known for their mercy when it came to strangers in their territory. "I want you to go rest. I'll be back before dark. No arguments, Raven."

Raven's stomach twisted when Murphy offered to go outside the wall and return to the place he had been brutally tortured. She wanted to argue and beg him not to go but he pressed a swift kiss to the top of her head and took off. As usual, Murphy had his knives tucked into his jacket pockets; he was always prepared for the worst. As he slipped out of the gate, Raven's heart began to race with uncertainty. She lasted about five minutes before she could take it no longer; she couldn't bear the thought of Murphy being out there without any backup. Grabbing a bow and quiver from the weapons tent, Raven followed his footprints into the woods.

Keeping his head down, Murphy headed back toward the stream. He stayed low, moving silently against the ground that was hardened by frost. He had made it half a click when he heard rustling and voices up ahead. Inching forward slowly, he peered through the foliage and his stomach twisted in anger. Finn was sprawled out on a blanket with the grounder bitch straddling his hips. Clothes were strewn this way and that, his mouth was attacking hers with fervor. Tightening his fist around his knife, Murphy inched forward until a branch snapped beneath his foot.

Anya turned to face Murphy at lightning speed, making no move to cover her nakedness but immediately reaching for her blade which she poised to hurl right between his eyes. Finn grabbed her wrist, "No! It's okay." Grabbing his clothes, he quickly dragged his boxers on. "Murphy, what the hell are you doing here?"

"No one has seen you in a couple days and Raven was worried. I stupidly thought you might be in danger…" Murphy replied through gritted teeth.

"Well as you can see, I'm fine. You're free to go. And you can tell Raven she lost the right to worry about me when we broke up," Finn's arm wrapped around Anya's trim waist as she pressed a kiss to the sensitive contour of his neck.

Icy rage burned in Murphy's veins. "I'm not finished. You need to come back with me. Raven needs you…" Folding his arms over his chest, he stepped forward to face Finn head on. "Fucking the grounder queen can wait. This is important."

Anya frowned markedly, "I was sure that your people would kill you…" Her voice dripped with malice as her fingers slid through Finn's dark hair. She had no reservations about her nudity or being seen in Finn's arms. "Oh well, I'll finish the job myself…" She moved toward him but Finn's arms wrapped around her waist. It was clear she was unhappy but made no move to threaten Murphy again. Instead she cuddled in Finn's arms, her fingers resting on his thigh.

"Raven made her choice, Murphy. Whatever her problem is, I'm sure the two of you can figure it out. I've seen the way you look at her…" Finn laughed sharply, "You're in love with her." His hand slid over Anya's belly, dragging her back into his lap to grind against him. "I've been there with her, Murphy, so I'm going to wish you luck. You're in for quite a ride."

Murphy's first tightened and his jaw began to tick with rage…he didn't just want to carve Anya's eyes out. He was ready to gut Finn like a fish. "This isn't about Raven and me, Finn. If it wasn't important, believe me, I wouldn't be doing this. She's better off without you." Still, Finn didn't seem to care; he was completely wrapped up in eyefucking the traitorous bitch in his arms, "Raven's pregnant, Finn. For fuck's sake, you need to at least talk to her."

"Pregnant?" Finn paused but he made no move to disentangle himself from Anya. "Look, even if there is a baby I highly doubt that it's mine. We were together _one _time on the ground. How many times have you fucked her since?" He snorted, "I mean, I get that she'd want it to be mine rather than yours but it's what she gets for fucking around."

The last shred of control Murphy had been holding onto snapped violently. He lunged like a wild animal, snarling and growling. Unseating Anya, he grabbed her by the shoulders and hurled her into the bushes before he rained blows down on Finn's chest and face until his knuckles were bloody, "You son of a bitch!" Finn twisted, spitting blood as Murphy reached into his pocket to grab his knife. Gripping a handful of hair, Murphy dragged Finn's head back to expose the pulsing jugular vein there. Venom laced every word he spoke, "I should slit your throat right here and watch you bleed out…but that's far too good a death for a piece of scum like you." His voice came out as a low hiss as he leaned in and pressed the knife against his stomach, "You deserve to suffer before you die."

Finn gurgled and coughed against the blood from his broken nose that slid down his throat and choked him. His eyes were swollen halfway shut. He tried to push Murphy off but he was just too strong. Anya had collected her weaponry and was inches from stabbing Murphy when an arrow zipped toward her from the tree line and slammed into her shoulder. Anya let out a harsh cry of agony as the metal ripped through her flesh. "Murphy, get the hell off him!" Raven's voice shook with anger as she stood twenty feet away. Her weapon was now pointed at Murphy, "_Now_!"

Dropping the knife, Murphy inched away from Finn, "Raven…"

"_Don't_," Raven snapped. Hurrying over to where Finn was laying, she stared down at him. Silence hung over them as Raven peered over at Anya. The grounder had snapped off the end of the arrow and removed it from her shoulder. Swallowing hard, Raven stared between the three of them, her face flushed and hot. Finally, Raven took a cleansing breath, "Finn, are you okay?"

Murphy felt his stomach clench in anger. After everything he'd done for her…and she ran straight back to Finn. He wanted to kill something. Fuck, he wanted to kill _everything_. But Finn was right. He did love her. She might never love him back but he would never touch a hair on her head. Were it not for Raven's presence now, he'd have massacred Finn and left pieces of him strewn for miles.

Finn sat up slowly, spitting blood again. His nose was slightly crooked from the beating that Murphy had given him. "I'm fine," Finn ground out. "I'd be better if your psycho boyfriend hadn't jumped me." Brushing Raven aside, he hurried over to Anya, "Put pressure on it." Tearing off a piece of his own shirt, he gingerly handed it to her. Anya grabbed him, kissing him hard; she was clearing marking her territory. Smiling against Anya's lips, Finn pulled away, "Later…" He murmured in her ear. Gazing back at Raven, he folded his arms over his bare chest, "So, you're pregnant?"

"Yeah…"Raven suddenly felt off kilter. "I just…thought you should know. I didn't mean to interrupt you and your new girlfriend here. I'm not trying to cause trouble."

Ignoring the barb, Finn remained stoic. "You think it's mine?" He gazed at her levelly. There was no emotion at all in his voice or the way he stood.

Raven took a step back as if she'd been slapped. "You think it's not?"

"We had sex _once_ on the ground, Raven. What're the odds?" He shook his head, "How often have you fucked Murphy? The kid is at least twice as likely to be his, Raven. I understand why you want it to be mine, believe me, Murphy's a monster…but no, I don't think the kid could possibly be mine."

The pain was just too much. Sobering instantly, Raven's hand slid over the flat plane of her belly, "What was I thinking? Of course the baby isn't yours…" Grabbing her bow and quiver, she turned away from Finn. Raven was just about to stalk off when suddenly she turned back, "For the record, Murphy isn't a monster." Sneering over at Anya, Raven frowned, "And he's no traitor either!" Tilting her head, she motioned for Murphy to follow her, "Come on, let's go home."

Watching Raven fight against her emotions was driving Murphy to the brink. Bending to pick up his knife, he glared at Finn and Anya before trotting after Raven. If she weren't in such a hurry to get back to camp, he'd likely have finished what he started: hacking Spacefucker and Grounder Bitch into bits. But Raven needed him and he was a little worried she was going to trip. "Slow down," Murphy jogged up in front of her, "_Raven_!"

Pushing against Murphy's chest, Raven wrapped her arms around herself, "Just give me some space, Murphy." Still, she slowed just a little bit. As they neared the edge of camp, Raven halted, "You were going to kill him, weren't you?"

There was no hesitation in Murphy's voice. He folded his arms over his chest, "Yeah, I was." Gazing over at her, he licked his lips, "I still might…"

"Why?"

"He disrespected you." Murphy replied matter-of-factly, as it was the most normal thing in the world. "If you heard the things he said—"

"I did." Raven replied softly. "I was only a little ways behind you Murphy. You're not that hard to track." She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes; it was a reflex, a coping mechanism. "Why does it bother you so much?" There was a long moment of silence. He took a step forward and Raven grabbed his arm, "Don't walk away from me, Murphy. I want to understand. Why me?"

"Because you're the only one who didn't sentence me to die, Raven," Murphy snarled. "Everyone in this camp put a rope around my neck and tried to kill me for a murder I didn't commit. They were so willing to let me die. They wanted it…" His entire body was tensed and he had a wild look in his cobalt eyes, "I lost it, Raven. My temper got the better of me." Suddenly pain twisted in his gut and his words came out tighter, "I didn't want Charlotte to die. I just wanted her to understand the consequences of her actions." He was shaking now, "But maybe I would have killed her given the chance. It's what I do, Raven, I'm a _killer_." Murphy suddenly faced her head on, "I killed Connor. That bastard was the one who started it; he wanted me hung up to die. I thought that it would make me feel better if he was dead. But it didn't…" Murphy felt as if he'd been stabbed as he watched the shock spread over Raven's features, "I wanted to kill others, to see if all of their deaths were enough to make me whole again. But you helped me control the rage. When I'm around you I just feel better. You're the only one who's ever treated me like a person who's worth something…" His breath was coming in ragged spurts now as he dropped to his knees, "But now you know what I really am. They're right, Raven, I _am_ a monster."

For the longest time, neither of them spoke. Raven stepped forward and Murphy expected her to just keep moving past him. Instead she settled down beside him, wrapping her arms around her knees. Their shoulders were touching as she stared back at camp. "What you've done in the past doesn't define you…" Raven sighed, "At least I hope it doesn't." One hand slid over her belly to comfort the child within_**;**_ she hoped that this little boy or girl didn't know any of the pain she felt right now. "I've seen you, Murphy. You care about this baby and you care about me…you care about the guys you're training and you want to keep them safe. I know you've been hurt. God knows I wish that I could've been here to stop them from trying to hang you…" Her other hand slid across his back, hugging him closer to her as she rested her head against his shoulder, "The only thing we can do is move on."

"I wish it was that simple…" Murphy's voice was thick with emotion. He wrapped his arm around Raven, hugging her tighter. His hand slid over hers where it rested on her belly. "I don't want to fuck this up."

"Well, if you feel like you're going to lose it, I want you to think about the baby. If you're going to be in our lives, you need to set an example. I don't want my child to grow up with a fucked up family situation like you and I had." Raven smiled softly. "You think you can handle that?"

Emotion clogged Murphy's throat. He had allowed Raven to rip open the stitches holding together his wounded soul and peer inside the festering cavern. Yet she didn't flinch and abandon him. Instead she offered him comfort. "I can," He replied, "and I will, so help me God." Raven would always come first. The sun rose higher over the forest as Raven and Murphy remained wrapped in each other's arms. He could hear that training had begun and he sighed, "We should get back."

"Can we sit here just a little longer?" Raven asked softly, not yet ready to face the reality of what was to come. Murphy nodded and smiled gently. Come what may, Raven knew Murphy was not leaving her side. And she found that slowly she was realizing that he needed her just as much as she needed him. They were better together, against all odds.

* * *

**To put this in the words of my AMAZING beta JustVisting80 who managed not only to write a stellar chapter but also edit this one, how about that mindfuck? Fanya (Finn + Anya) is definitely part of my new ship base. I don't particularly care for Finn...I hope that Anya can screw some sense into him in the show. I think it'd be hot. We're also going to start seeing the evolution of Murphy and Raven in these upcoming chapters which I have not written yet. Next up on the docket is a chapter for my fic called "Hurt". If you like to be mindfucked, check it out. It's definitely worth a read...**

**I am also toying with the idea of doing a Fanya one-shot at some point. Would anyone even read that? Let me know! Reviews fuel my muse and help me write better! So please, let me know what you're thinking and if you want more!**


	7. Chapter 7

Snow crunched underfoot as Murphy sprinted back toward the drop ship. People milled around, many of them bundled under blankets as they tried to avoid the wet sloppy precipitation that fell from the sky. It wasn't their first wintry mix but the darkness made it worse. Training had been cancelled for the day to give everyone a chance to recover. Over the last few weeks, Murphy's team had made such strides. They actually made it through an entire training session without Jasper taking a blow to the face; things were definitely looking up. When the grounders came, the combat team would be ready. Since the weather was so poor, Murphy had sent his boys out with the trackers to get some hunting done while he collected metal from the drop ship. Murphy's dark hair was still slightly damp with sweat; he'd spent most of the day over the forge creating weapons for his team. The return of the hunting party dragged him from his thoughts and he swore bitterly. Damn it, he was going to be late...

When the curtain pulled and Murphy came barreling in, Raven immediately felt relief. "We thought you weren't coming…" She let out a shaky breath as she reached for him. Finn was sitting across from her and Clarke and Bellamy were to his left. Raven smiled when Murphy wrapped a protective arm around her.

Disgust was written all over Murphy's face as he faced Finn. "I lost track of time, I'm sorry," He apologized to Raven quietly. Murphy felt like such a bastard; knew that sitting at the war room table was bad enough but add to it the fact that Finn was here and it was a recipe for disaster. Clearing his throat, he turned to face Bellamy and Clarke. "For the record I think we're signing our own death warrant by allowing him back here."

"We've heard your opinion on the subject loud and clear, Murphy." Clarke narrowed her eyes slightly, "Finn's been spending a lot of time with the grounders. He's got an in…"

Scoffing, Murphy rolled his eyes skyward, "You mean he's spent a lot of time _in_ a grounder—"

"Murphy!" Clarke cried, exasperated. Bellamy was clearly amused, not bothering to hide a smirk. Clarke gazed at Bellamy out of the corner of her eye, trying to hold back a smile, "Don't encourage him."

"Come on, princess, he's not wrong," Bellamy replied hotly. "Finn's been fucking grounder princess for weeks now and from what I can gather the only thing he learned is how she likes it in bed." Folding his arms over his chest, he glanced at Finn. "Here's what I know: we haven't seen a grounder around here since he started satisfying the queen. If it's keeping them from slaughtering us, I say let him have his cake and eat it too."

Finn frowned, "You do realize I'm standing right here?" He shook his head, "The grounders are people, just like you and me. They just want to live happily. We were the ones who landed on their territory." He sighed heavily, "I don't know when they're planning to attack. Anya hasn't shared that with me but it's going to happen if we do nothing. We have to try and negotiate—"

"We tried that," Clarke interrupted, "It didn't exactly go as planned. Even if they agree to meet again, they're just going to use it as an opportunity to slaughter us." Shaking her head, she gazed over at Bellamy, "What do you think?"

Bellamy nodded, his gaze unwavering, "I'm with Clarke. We can't trust them, Finn." He glanced at Raven. "What about you, Reyes? What's your vote?"

Raven looked up from her position, "I think we should talk to them." All movement within the room stopped. "Look, I'd rather not be annihilated by a grounder attack." Gripping Murphy's hand a little tighter, she stood up, "Obviously if Anya's willing to fuck Finn six ways from Sunday then she must understand that we're not all cut from the same cloth." Raven turned back to Bellamy, "I realize we blew them up and they're pissed. But they've also learned that we're not going to sit back and be slaughtered like sheep. You've got the archers in top form and Murphy's boys are kicking ass and taking names. Now that they know what we can do, we also need to show them that we can live peacefully. They can honor that treaty or they can get fucked up."

Murphy was surprised that Raven even noticed how much progress he'd made with the combat team. Pride filled up his chest at the compliment but the he still had reservations about making peace. "How can we trust them after everything that's happened?" He asked fervently, "Raven, think about the baby…"

"I _am_ thinking about it, Murphy. I really don't want to give birth in a war zone." Raven sighed heavily, "We need to at least give peace a chance. If they don't want to play ball, we end them." Clarke was nodding her head in agreement and these days, Bellamy did pretty much whatever Clarke said. "So it's settled then? Finn tells Anya we're willing to negotiate peace…on our turf, on our terms."

"Anya will never go for that," Finn scoffed, "Last time we met up with people from this camp, Raven shot her with an arrow and Murphy tried to beat me up. And he threw her into a thorn bush!" There were still faint yellow traces of bruising that lingered beneath his eyes but the newer bruises down his neck were most definitely made by Anya.

Laughing derisively, Murphy shook his head, "I _did_ beat you up…" And he would have done a lot more than that if Raven hadn't stepped in to save his ass. "You decided to turn traitor. It's _your_ job to get her here. I'm sure you know of a few ways to persuade her."

Bellamy nodded in agreement, "Murphy's right. You're the one who decided to go wandering into grounder camp and make friends." He frowned markedly, "You're lucky we don't banish you." Resting his palms on the table and leaning in toward Finn, "I don't personally care if you want to pound grounder princess into the ground. She could be hot under all those possum pelts, I don't know." He welcomed Clarke's elbow against his ribcage; he did so love riling her up. "But the point is that right now you're our only in with the grounders. If that stops being the case, we can't have you taking our secrets back to them. You can't be on both sides of a war, Finn. This is the grounders' last shot."

Finn clearly wasn't happy but Clarke, Raven, Bellamy and Murphy had agreed to this course of action. He was being overruled. "Fine, I'll talk to her but she won't be happy." Grabbing his pack, Finn turned to glance back at Raven a moment. "It's true what they say, I guess. When you live with someone long enough you start acting like them…" Glaring at Murphy one last time, he stalked away.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Raven snapped, trotting to the edge of the drop ship. Finn was already gone. Whirling around, she rested her hands on her hips, "Well? Is someone going to answer me?" Bellamy shook his head, smirking to himself. Clarke busied herself with clearing some of the training materials she'd been using with the apprentices today.

Murphy cleared his throat, "Come on. Let's go home." The freezing rain had changed over to full-on snow as the temperature dropped. Murphy was extremely careful to keep Raven from losing her footing as they headed toward their new tent. With Finn gone, they had taken over the larger tent and Monty had been relegated to the smaller one if he needed to avoid Jasper's snoring. It only made sense, there were two—going on three—of them and only one Monty. Once they were safely inside, Murphy tugged the flap of the tent closed and wrapped a blanket around her shoulders.

Raven set the blanket aside, she wasn't cold. After all, she was heating for two and her internal thermometer was set at 'blazing inferno' at all times. Plus, her annoyance at Finn caused her blood to run hotter than usual. "You never answered me, Murphy. Why would Finn say something like that?" Shifting uncomfortably, she undid the button on her jeans and tugged her coat off, throwing it aside.

"He's just not used to you standing against him, Raven. He's more worried about his grounder bitch than the people of this camp and he's looking for an outlet." Murphy plopped down beside her, "It doesn't matter what he thinks. He's a traitor." Peering over at her as she undressed, Murphy suddenly smiled, "You're starting to get a belly." He caught the glare she cast in his direction and he chucked, "I think it's great, Raven."

"You would," Raven groused, "You're not the one getting bigger." Shrugging, she laid down on the pallet he'd made out of pelts. Everything he'd done over the last few weeks had been in an attempt to increase her comfort and protect her from any danger. It felt like all she'd done was eat and sleep since their quiet moment in the woods. Exhaustion was her constant companion thanks to the baby sapping all her energy. Today, though, she felt a new energy starting to course through her; whether it was from the baby or the task at hand, she wasn't quite sure. Raven sighed softly, "It gives me hope, though. My waistline expanding means the baby is doing well, right? It's growing and getting stronger."

Hunkering down beside her, Murphy lay down on his side, facing her. Reaching over, he settled his palm over the tiny swell in her belly; he could cup the entire expanse of it with one hand. It was far too early to feel the child move within her but Murphy felt such overwhelming love for this little bump. "You're gorgeous, Raven. This," His thumb gingerly stroked over the warm flesh of her abdomen, "Only makes you more beautiful."

Tenderness blossomed within her as she focused on Murphy. He looked at her with such adoration that her throat clogged with tears. Rolling to face him, her hand slid up his chest as she leaned in and captured his lips. This time when their mouths met, there was no hesitation. Deepening the kiss, Raven sighed softly as his tongue gentle probed her mouth and teased her into opening for him. Pleasure tingled through her, coursed through her veins before it finally settled within her core.

Murphy's hands slid up her sides. The warmth of her was such a welcome relief against the chill in the air. Suddenly he couldn't ever remember being cold at all. Raven slid her leg over him so she was fully on top of him and he groaned harshly at the pressure of her body against his swollen, throbbing manhood. His heart thundered in his chest as rational thought began to leave his body. He needed to stop or at least to warn her before they got too far. "Raven…" His voice was thick with desire as he brushed the dark hair from her face, pressing soft kisses to her cheeks and neck. "I—"

Several loud coughs shattered the moment as Monty 'knocked'. "Um, I hate to be that guy but Bellamy has called a meeting and he said everyone has to be there so—"

"Just one minute!" Murphy's voice was tight as he gently eased Raven off of him. There was comfort in knowing that she was similarly annoyed at the interruption. Raven's dark eyes were dilated black with pleasure and it was clear from the flush of her cheeks that she had been enjoying every moment of his touch. Standing up, he opened up the flap of the tent and frowned, "Get to the meeting, Monty! We don't need a tour guide!"

"Geez," Monty huffed indignantly, "Alright!" He muttered under his breath about them needing interruption before Raven got pregnant as he stomped toward the drop ship.

Raven laughed softly as Murphy helped her to her feet. She buttoned up her jeans again with a slight groan, "He means well…" Grabbing her jacket, she tossed it on before grasping Murphy's hand to comfort him. "Hey, loosen up. We can continue this later."

Murphy swallowed hard. Raven was stunning and amazing…and pregnant. She tugged his arm, dragging him back toward the drop ship. Bellamy's voice rose over the crowd, informing them that Finn had set up a meeting with the grounders. In one week's time there would be a summit in the woods. Each group would bring several delegates; trusted individuals who would help negotiate an alliance between their people. From their camp it would be Raven, Murphy, Finn, Clarke and Bellamy. No one protested and after a few questions about safety and security, the group was dismissed once again.

Murphy couldn't stop from snickering when Raven leaned into him, "That was quick. Finn must have gotten better at using his mouth." Wrapping an arm around her, Murphy meandered at a slower pace than Raven wanted to go. She was eager to get him back into the tent…but Murphy was worried about what was to come.

Stopping a few feet from the tent, Raven frowned, "You sure are taking your sweet time, Murphy." Folding her arms over her chest, she stared him down, "A few minutes ago you were all hot and bothered. I don't understand why you're hesitating now. Don't you want me?"

"Of course I do, Raven." Murphy sighed, "I'm just…" Dragging a hand through his hair, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back inside the tent, "Sit down." He commanded. Raven did as she was asked but from the look on her face it was clear she didn't like the direction of this conversation. "I'm not a virgin, Raven."

Snorting suddenly, Raven raised an eyebrow, "Uh, neither am I." Her hand rested gingerly against the swell of her belly. "I don't think we need to delude ourselves with nonsense like that. We're experienced, there's nothing wrong with that. Although for the record, I've never been with anyone but Finn…"

Nervously, Murphy swallowed hard, "I'm not exactly known for being gentle, Raven." His heart thundered in his chest as he averted his gaze, "It's the opposite, really. I've always been good at giving it hard and fast. I've been with a handful of women who all wanted the same thing. They begged me to hurt them, Raven and…fuck…I willingly obliged."

"So you think you're going to hurt me?" Raven reached over, grasping his face gently. "Murphy, you are extraordinarily gentle with me. When I had that nightmare a couple weeks ago? I was thrashing and hitting and you never struck back."

Horror crept through Murphy's chest, "Raven, fuck! I would never _hit_ you!" The very thought made him sick to his stomach, "But I want you and I'm afraid if I let go, I won't be able to stop. If anything happened to you or the baby, I—"

"It won't." Raven's voice was thick with emotion, "Murphy, there's nobody I trust more with my life or the life of my child." Leaning in, she kissed him swiftly again, "I'm ready. I've got a ton of hormones coursing through me and I need to be satisfied tonight." Meeting his gaze, she smiled softly, "Please, Murphy, I need you."

Every shred of self control he had been hanging on to was torn away from him the instant she said she needed him. He had been waiting to hear her say it for so long. Pushing her jacket off her shoulders, he made quick work of divesting her of her shirt and jeans. "God damn, you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." Her body was ripe for the taking. Over the last few weeks he had learned every curve of her body as she slept against him but seeing her soft flesh laid before him was absolutely astonishing. Capturing her lips, his rough hands slid up her hips, "You need to tell me if I'm hurting you, Raven. Please, I—"

"The only pain I'm in is from you _not _fucking me!" Raven moaned, "God, Murphy, enough with the foreplay. I'm in agony, please!" Heat simmered in her veins, sending pulses to her throbbing center. Tugging at his clothes, she pulled his shirt over his head. Slowing slightly, her fingertips traced over every livid pink scar that marred his flesh. "Oh Murphy," Leaning in, she kissed each and every one, aching to make it better in some small way. Murphy pulled the tie from Raven's hair and buried his hand in the dark strands. A prickle of excitement washed over her at the slight tugging against the roots as he dragged her body over his again.

Raven's naked flesh against his was the most erotic thing he'd ever experienced. Murphy continued to slide his hands up and down her gorgeous body, aching to learn every inch. He was in awe of how responsive she was; each touch elicited a soft moan of pleasure from her. When he reached her breasts, Murphy was damn sure she was going to come apart in his arms just from him brushing his thumbs over her sensitive nipples. Testing the new weight there, Murphy took comfort in the guttural noises she made. These sighs were solely of pleasure, not of pain as he had previously feared.

Rolling onto her back, Raven tugged Murphy against her. She was ready…so ready to take him inside her. Bending down, Murphy captured her lips again, "If Monty interrupts us this time I'm going to kill him." He laughed throatily, kissing down the sensitive contour of her neck.

"If he so much as thinks about it, I'm going to let you…" Raven ground out, teasing her hands up his back. Her nails slid down the plane of his back as she widened her legs to wrap around him. The length of him twitched as he teased her, brushing against her sensitive heat but not yet entering her. Arching her back, one hand wound through his dark hair and gripped tight, "Please, Murphy. I'm ready…" Writhing beneath him, she could hardly handle the anticipation.

Careful not to put too much weight on her, Murphy cradled her in his arms. He had ached for this moment for so long and dreamed of it since she awoke in his arms that first morning. Yet nothing compared to the reality. Easing into her, Murphy groaned at the firestorm of pleasure that raged within him. Raven was so incredibly tight and warm; it was all he could do not to lose control. Breathing raggedly, he gave her half a moment to adjust before moving inside of her. The cry of passion that emanated from her throat burned a hole in the center of him. He had never been with any woman as responsive as her. Every motion elicited a response and he knew how deeply she was enjoying their lovemaking as he finally increased the pace.

Raven didn't know what lust was until John Murphy. Every stroke, every touch overwhelmed her senses and she was lost to him. Kissing him hard, she wrapped her legs around him to take him deeper inside. The inflammation within her lower belly only served to make the sex that much better. Swirling, unrelenting heat built inside of her belly as he dragged her closer and closer to the edge. Crying his name, she felt all control snap as his hand dipped down to cradle her tender breast. The first wave crashed over her and she felt his entire body tense. Crying out throatily, she trembled and spasmed with the force of her orgasm.

Knowing that he had brought her pleasure was unlike anything Murphy had ever experienced in his life. It felt as if he had been raised to a higher plane of existence. Within moments, he was lost in the scalding depths of her heat. Capturing her lips in a searing kiss, he felt such relief as he spilled his seed within the occupied depths of her womb. Both of them echoed their ecstasy for one another, bathed in the fantastic glow of the consummation. For the longest time, they remained joined. Cradling her in his arms, Murphy pressed tender kisses to anywhere he could reach. "Are you alright?" He asked softly, his voice low and husky as he examined her face for any trace of discomfort.

Heat still coursed through Raven's body and her heart thudded in her chest. Taking several deep breaths to regain her composure, she smiled up at him, "Better than alright." Brushing away the dark hair that fell over his face, she kissed him again. "I told you that you wouldn't hurt me." She marveled at his ability to hold himself over her so he didn't put too much pressure on the child that remained between them always. Shifting slightly, she felt a sense of loss when he slipped from her but she knew that this was only the beginning. If she had her way, they'd be doing it _a lot. _Something told her that Murphy would be all too happy to oblige.

Grabbing the blanket, Murphy pulled it over their naked bodies as he cradled Raven to his chest. Kissing her forehead tenderly, he smiled, "What can I say, Raven? You bring out the best in me." And he didn't just mean in bed. Murphy pressed another kiss to the top of her head. He could tell she was completely relaxed; there was no fear, no regret, and no discomfort in her posture. Having her in this way was more than he could have ever dreamed of. His patience had paid off. Draping an arm around her, he cradled her belly gently as they drifted off to sleep. Murphy's last thought before he fell asleep was how he could die a happy man right now and have no regrets. In the murky depths of darkness, a voice echoed back that it was only a matter of time before he did…

* * *

**We've been in the darkness with these characters for a while now. How about a lighter chapter...the calm before the storm, if you will. This is everything I have written so far and I have been loving every second of it! Please review if you want more of this fic. I want to know what you think, people! The more reviews I get, the faster I write and the sooner you get chapters!**

**Happy Sunday!**


	8. Chapter 8

Murphy spent most of the next week waiting for the other shoe to drop. He was mentally prepared for Raven to figure out that she could do a hell of a lot better than him and run screaming for the door. Yet he was constantly surprised as she reached for him in the night, eager to give herself over so completely. This afternoon he had dedicated himself to finishing off his projects so that they would be prepared for tomorrow's meeting with the grounders. If things went to hell in a hand basket, Murphy's boys would be prepared to fight. He completed a weapon for every last one them; each lance, flail, mace or spear was tailored to their unique abilities. He was also determined to make them all some kind of armor to protect them in battle and time was running out. Murphy had made it clear to the boys that he wasn't to be disturbed. When the flap of the tent opened and Raven walked through it, Murphy almost thought the blazing heat of the forge had caused him to hallucinate. She was so ethereally beautiful it made his breath hitch in his throat.

Without warning, Raven dragged Murphy against her body and kissed him ardently. "Murphy…" His hands slid up her hips, lifting her and resting her on the table. Her fingertips traced his chiseled cheekbones. There was no hesitation at all in his touch. He wanted her just as badly as she wanted him. The sensation was thrilling. Pushing her jacket away, Murphy kissed along her shoulder blades and then dipped to explore the sensitive valley between her breasts. Gasping softly, Raven arched back, cradling his head against her chest. "Please," She whimpered, "Take me."

There had never been any hesitation when Raven gave herself to Murphy but this was the first time that she'd sought him out to make love. There was such awesome power in knowing that he could bring her pleasure. The groan that emanated from Raven's throat tore away the last of Murphy's control. Undoing the button on his pants, he didn't even have them all the way down before parting her thighs and slamming to the hilt. Laying her back against the table, Murphy captured her mouth as they rocked against one another hard and fast until the tremors finally stopped.

Murphy's lips captured hers once more before he dipped to place a tender kiss to her rounding belly. Smirking softly, he sighed contentedly, "I missed you too, sweetheart." As he gazed into Raven's eyes, he noticed an odd expression on her face. Raven was hardcore as they came. She put on a front to keep people out but right now, in the afterglow of their union, she looked almost frightened. "What's wrong?"

Averting her gaze, Raven let out a shaky breath, "How do you know me so well?"

"You're not that hard to figure out, Raven. You're brilliant," Murphy traced circles over her abdomen to comfort her, "And you're determined. Fiercely loyal and not afraid to put your money where your mouth is. You're also soft under that tough exterior…"

"I am _not_ soft." Raven glared at him, frowning slightly. "I just…" Sighing, his palm rested against her belly gently and she covered his larger, calloused hand with hers. Lately, she found herself exploring that space more and more as it grew. Murphy seemed to feel the same way about the little bump; he couldn't seem to stop himself from cradling it often and his demeanor was a clear warning to everyone that Raven and the little one were off limits. It was one of the things Raven adored the most about Murphy…but it also scared her the most. He would do anything for her…even if it cost him his life. "At dawn tomorrow we meet the grounders and I…if something were to happen, I just wanted to have this moment."

Murphy's heart twisted in his chest. "Nothing is going to happen to you, Raven. I swear that on my life." Reaching for her, he brushed a strand of dark hair from her face before pressing a lingering kiss to her lips. "I'd never let anyone hurt you."

"I know…and that's why I'm afraid," Raven's voice was thick with emotion as she pulled him to her again. Swallowing past the lump in her throat was not easy. "Promise me that you won't fly off the handle and get yourself killed. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you, Murphy."

Resting his forehead against hers, Murphy cradled her tenderly against his body, "I'm not going to go looking for trouble, okay? But if it comes down to you or me, it's not even a choice, Raven." His fingertips slid over her rounding belly again, "You're carrying our child. I'm always going to put you first…"

"You are really trying to make me cry, aren't you?" Raven laughed despite the moisture pricking behind her eyes. She snuggled against him and reveled in the warmth of his embrace. "I thought you might feel obligated to protect me and the baby because of everything we've been through. But…you really love this kid, don't you?

Murphy pulled back ever so slightly, "How many ways can I show you, Raven?" He gazed into her eyes, "This child may not share my blood but it's _mine_." His voice belied the depth of love he had for the baby. "_Nothing_ is going to happen to us, okay? I won't let it."

"I want to believe you—"

Cutting her off quickly, Murphy gazed into her eyes, "Raven." Her name was soft on his lips, "Worrying about the future isn't helping anything. You just have to trust me." With another swift kiss, he set his sights back on the task at hand. Tossing another log on the fire to keep them warm, he split his attention between Raven and finishing the armor. "You're stressing yourself out and Clarke said you needed to stay calm." Murphy scooped Raven up off the table and gently settled her far enough away from the fire that she wouldn't be hit with any embers. "Have you eaten since breakfast?" Narrowing his eyes, he searched her face for the truth. She didn't have to say a word and he knew the answer. Aggravated, he grabbed a couple of packets of rations out of his bag, "Here," Murphy shook his head when Raven opened her mouth, "Don't even think about arguing!"

Taking the food, Raven rolled her eyes, "Okay, _dad_." Opening up the package of jerky, she took a bite. After a long moment, she gazed at where he had returned to working at the forge. Truly, she couldn't be angry at Murphy; it was endearing how deeply he cared for her and the baby. Her fears of abandonment were very real, especially after Finn cast her aside in favor of sleeping with the enemy. They had been each other's firsts for everything and she had deluded herself into believing that they'd be together forever. It took being cheated on and Murphy coming into her life for her to realize that Finn wasn't the kind of man she deserved. If he were, he'd be acting a whole lot more like Murphy. Fleetingly Raven hoped that Anya would knock some sense into Finn; it was only a matter of time before he did the same thing to her…although Raven didn't see Anya as the type to take that kind of betrayal lying down. In her heart, Raven knew that Murphy was the right man for her and the child. He may not have a spotless record but he was making strides each and every day. He hadn't threatened to kill anyone in almost a week!

Murphy grabbed another panel from the drop ship and resumed hammering the metal to manipulate it into a shield. Every once in a while he glanced over at Raven to make sure that she was safe and comfortable. He caught her staring at him and he smiled lovingly. He loved all of Raven, of course, but one of his favorite things was the softer side she hid beneath the tough exterior. In these quiet moments he could see the emotions playing in her eyes. Right now those dark eyes held a mixture of contentment, adoration and uncertainty. He knew she was still frightened about what was to come but she trusted him enough to let it rest for now and he took comfort in that. "You sure it's not too warm in here for you?" Murphy asked, wiping sweat from his brow.

"No, it's fine. It's cold as a witch's tit out there…" Raven shifted slightly, "Do you want me to go? Am I distracting you? I don't want you losing a finger because of me."

"You're definitely distracting, Raven," Murphy chuckled, "But I don't want you to go anywhere. I need to keep an eye on our little peanut. Plus I like having you around." He smirked at her, "I swear, you've grown since yesterday."

"You're a dick!" Raven laughed as she cradled her belly closer, "But damn it, I think you're right…" Ever since she started showing, she was certain she got bigger every day. Murphy had already made it astoundingly clear that he loved this kid and there was no change in how attracted he was to her. It comforted her to know that despite the changes they went through, his adoration was unwavering.

"Come on, you still love me," Murphy teased, "Don't deny it."

Raven smiled brightly, "Yeah, I do. Nothing I can do about it now!"

This time, Murphy nearly did lose a finger. Dropping the shield into the water, his jaw was slack with shock. He tried to shrug off the weight of her words. They were joking around and he convinced himself that her words were empty. Turning his back to hide the expression, he tensed when Raven slipped behind him, "I tell you I love you and you turn your back? You're going to give me a complex…" She knew he loved her with everything he had.

Facing her again, Murphy cupped Raven's cheek. Peering into her eyes, he felt his heart nearly stop when all he could see was the love shining in her face. "You really love me?" He repeated incredulously. After a pause, he shook his head, "_Why_?"

Snorting softly, Raven nudged him, "Well for one thing, you've proven that you care about me and this baby over and over again. There aren't many men out there who would claim another man's kid, Murphy. You're strong, you're smart, and I appreciate your sarcastic sense of humor." She slipped her arms around his waist, "You're also totally unaware of how amazing you are. You shouldn't need to ask me why I love you, Murphy. I just do." A long moment of silence hung between them and she frowned uncertainly, "This is the part where you tell me that you love me back."

"Raven," Murphy groused, slightly annoyed that she even questioned his feelings for her. "I love you and this kid more than anything in the whole goddamn world. Don't you ever doubt that." If anything happened to either of them, he would light the world on fire. Kissing her fervently, he crushed her to his chest. "I need to get the rest of this armor done before tomorrow. Stay where I can see you, I don't want you getting into any trouble." He smirked and kissed her swiftly before she elbowed him in the ribs.

Just like that, they were back to bantering. It was well after dark when Murphy finished up the armor. Raven had fallen asleep and was currently slumped over the desk. Gingerly, he pulled her into his arms and carried her the short distance back to their tent. After he removed her shoes, he tucked her beneath the blanket and snuggled in beside her.

Despite the aching tiredness in his bones from a hard day's work, Murphy didn't sleep that night. Too many thoughts were invading his mind, worrying him as they drew closer to their meeting with the grounders. Murphy took comfort in the fact that Raven slept peacefully even if he couldn't. She needed her rest for the health and strength of their child.

At first light, Murphy slipped from Raven's arms to prepare for battle. As instructed, the combat team was standing outside of the weapons tent in various states of dishevelment. The air was bitterly cold and yet the fire in Murphy's veins kept him warm enough. "This is the day we've been training for, boys," His voice rang through the stillness of the camp. "I will go in good faith to try and negotiate peace with Clarke, Bellamy, Raven and Finn but we have to be ready for war." Grabbing the weapons he'd created, Murphy doled out the weaponry to their respective owners. "Remember what I taught you. Strike hard, move fast, and always have each other's backs." Murphy paced in front of them, hands clasped behind his back; he was their commander, rallying the troops. "I want you all to know that you've by far exceeded my expectations. No matter what happens today, you are all warriors."

Raven shivered when she realized Murphy wasn't next to her in their tent. Easing out of bed, she tugged on her shoes and her coat before she followed the sound of his voice to the weapons tent. Padding over to him, Raven couldn't help but smile. The boys who had been chosen for the combat team had undergone such a transformation in the last few weeks. Murphy had armed them with the knowledge they needed to fight and to survive. Against all odds, they were men now.

The sweetness of Raven's arm slipping around his waist made Murphy pause. Leaning in, he kissed her gently before readdressing the team, "This is what we're fighting for: our friends, our families, and the people we love." Instinctively Murphy's hand cradled her waist; thankfully her belly was still well hidden beneath the layers of her clothing. Murphy and Raven shared a secret smile. "Get to your posts. Stay alert and listen for the signal. You're dismissed!" Once the combat team cleared out, Murphy turned to Raven, "There's something I want to give you before we meet up with the grounders." Reaching into his pocket, he grabbed a small metal ring. It had taken him several attempts to forge something so beautiful and delicate but the end result was a perfectly crafted, polished silver band.

Raven gazed at the ring and then her eyes snapped up to meet his gaze. "Is that what I think it is?"

"If you think it's a ring then yes," Murphy smirked, "It's a symbol of my commitment to you and the baby. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Raven. I want our child to grow up in a stable family." Grasping her left hand, he slid it on. It fit like a glove, much to his relief. "Most of all, I love you and I want everyone to know you're mine."

"It's perfect, Murphy," Raven kissed him, tears of happiness pricking in her eyes. "I love you too." The new weight of the ring on her finger filled her heart with such joy. The sun peeked over the trees now and shattered the tender moment between them. Raven sighed heavily, "We should get moving. Bellamy's had his panties in a wad this whole week. I'm sure he's even worse today." She didn't blame him; there was a lot to be worried about. Add the fear of annihilation to the fact that Raven suspected he cared for Clarke more than he let on and it wasn't a shock that Bellamy was so explosive.

Murphy grabbed hispack from the tent and grasped her hand as they headed to the gates. As expected, Bellamy was pacing like a caged animal while Clarke remained silent and stoic. "Took you two long enough!" Bellamy snarled. "Now's not the time to pop off for a quickie."

"I was readying the combat team," Murphy replied, narrowing his eyes with a clear warning that if Bellamy didn't cool it, it wasn't just going to be the grounders that he needed to worry about. Thankfully Clarke stepped in and rested a hand on Bellamy's shoulder, "Come on, we don't want to be late. Finn is meeting us in the woods."

The meeting site was only a mile from camp. The group moved at a steady clip and soon they were face to face with Anya and her chosen delegates. Behind her four men masked in the bones of their enemies stood proud and tall, ready for anything. Finn remained between the two groups, his face creased with worry. Anya strode forward and headed straight for Clarke, "There are many things you don't understand about our people and the world we live in…" Anya straightened her spine, "We must hurry. The mountain men are coming…and it will take every last one of us if we want to survive…"

* * *

**Oh Murphy... Oh Murphy, Murphy, Murphy...you are so crazy.**

**But I still love you. I'll let you be the leader of this story, okay? Let's keep the murder to a dull roar, kay?**

**For those of you who are caught up on the 100, I'm just putting it out there. I still kinda love Murphy. He's so twisted...but I still think he can be redeemed. I don't know. This story is obviously AU now. But I'm loving it. HUGE shoutout to my beta JustVisiting80 who is fucking AMAZING. She talks me down off the ledge while we're watching the 100 on Wednesday nights. SO INTENSE. Here's to our adult sized thunder shirts. **

**Please read and review! The only way I know what you're thinking is if you tell me. If you want more, please review. **


	9. Chapter 9

"Holy shit…" Raven ran a hand over her belly as she peered over at Anya. "You're telling me the people who control Mount Weather have the technology to blast a ship out of the sky without even touching it?" It made sense now why the first Exodus ship had gone splat. The mountain men had let out some sort of electromagnetic pulse that screwed with the electrical systems and caused the crash. It was also why the drop ship that brought down the Hundred had veered so far off course. "Holy SHIT!"

Anya hid a smirk at Raven's outburst. "That isn't the only technology they possess. They have weapons that can stop your heart. It leaves the flesh burned. Only two of my warriors ever survived but they were crippled by the attacks. They also have noxious gas and many more guns than your people possess." She swallowed, "The mountain men don't have to get near to fight…" Gazing at Raven, Anya licked her lips, "We have seen you construct a device that allows you to communicate."

"The radios, yeah," Raven replied swiftly.

Nodding in agreement, Anya gazed between Raven and Clarke. "There are none among our people who have knowledge of these things. We have seen what you are capable of. If we are to survive then we must fight together." She punctuated her statement by slamming her fist against the table, "It was your bomb that drew their attention. When they come down, they will kill us all."

"Sounds like they have some kind of tasers…" Raven was already mentally calculating what they would need to defend themselves. She turned to Bellamy, "it's pretty easy to control an electrical current like that with thick rubber. If we just had some tires or something…"

Anya suddenly let out a curt laugh, "You want tires? We have those in spades. My people will provide you with anything you want or need. I believe if we align ourselves in this, we will be victorious once and for all." Gazing at Clarke, she squared her shoulders. "Have we reached an agreement then? Our people will be at peace during this battle against the mountain men…"

"And after," Clarke added, "We want to live harmoniously, Anya, truly. The offenses we are guilty of in the past were not intentional. We never wanted anything like this to happen. Honestly, we didn't even know that there were survivors down here, let alone that we had accidentally landed in your territory. Our only goal is to build a home here, just like you."

Bellamy grabbed Clarke around the waist, tugging her back against him as Anya drew a knife from her belt. Anya's hazel eyes narrowed at him as she dragged the knife over her palm, "Then so shall it be. We seal our alliance in blood." Extending the hilt of the blade to Clarke, blood seeped from Anya's hand and dripped onto the table before them. Clarke hesitated a moment before accepting the knife. Wincing slightly, she made a small cut on her palm and clasped Anya's hand tightly.

A moment passed between them as they bound themselves in solidarity to this cause. Each of them was very aware that time was of the essence. Anya drew back first, barking orders at her men to get Raven whatever she wanted or needed. Meanwhile, the grounders would join the Hundred at camp so the mountain men would be forced to bring the fight to them. Raven was already halfway out of the cave when Murphy caught her arm, "I don't like this, Raven."

Turning to face him, Raven furrowed her eyebrows, "We just avoided a massive grounder war and made a very powerful ally. _And_ they're going to help us so we don't end up as sticky puddles of goo when the mountain men come knocking. What's not to like about it?"

"The truce part is fine, Raven." Murphy groused, "But you're purposefully putting yourself in the middle of all this!" He had been completely silent during the proceedings. No one was talking directly to him and so he took the opportunity to assess the situation. The grounders were scared; Murphy could see it in their eyes. They were even willing to put aside their differences and team up, despite the animosity between them. They would trade anything for technology and a healer who knew what the hell she was doing. These were the people who had captured and tortured him, cutting, burning and tearing him to shreds to ascertain information on their enemies. It had taken them several weeks to spill the information about the camp, something he deeply regretted...they were vicious, hardened warriors. The mountain men must be pretty fearsome to inspire that kind of panic. But Murphy wasn't willing to give up the woman he loved for anything. "Monty can do all of this. You can't make yourself a target."

"Monty is good," Raven replied hotly, "But I'm better. We need our best people working on this or it won't get done fast enough." Leaning in, she kissed Murphy chastely on the lips, "Besides, I have a pretty kickass bodyguard." Slipping her hand into his, she started down the path. "We'll be fine. I just need to come up with more advanced technology than the mountain men have as soon as possible." She shrugged, smirking, "Piece of cake."

Murphy's grasp slowed Raven down and he pulled her to face him, "I get that you have a thing for danger, Raven. You know I will do _anything_ to protect you...but I need you to promise me you won't take any stupid risks." He did not fear death; not when he'd stared it down so many times. Laying down his life for Raven and their child was something he'd do in a heartbeat. Yet the thought of her in any danger whatsoever burned in his gut.

Raven's face flushed with anger, "What the hell is wrong with you, Murphy!" Shrugging away from him, she crossed her arms over her belly, "I'm doing what needs to be done to keep us alive!"

"Yeah well you have a habit of being reckless, Raven!" Murphy stood in front of her. "We all know what you did on the bridge. You were going to blow yourself up to save everyone else's ass. Do you realize that if you were successful you would've taken the baby with you?" He exhaled sharply, "I'm just asking you to be more careful! Let me help you, please!"

Wincing as if she'd been slapped, Raven pushed Murphy away from her. Her hand cradled the soft swell in her belly gently as she fought against the fount of emotions welling up inside her. "You are an _asshole_, Murphy! I _don't_ need you! I can take care of myself. I did it long before you showed up in my life." Pointing a finger straight at his chest, she took a staggering breath, "I do _not_ want to see you anywhere near our tent tonight, do you understand? Stay the hell away from me!" Turning on heel, she stalked away with tears burning hot in her eyes. Raven was so very angry…not just because Murphy had called her out but also because, damn it, she knew he was right.

Murphy dragged a hand through his hair. He peered over at Clarke, pleading silently for someone to go after Raven. Clarke immediately got the message; she hurried forward and caught up with Raven easily. Letting out a noise that was a mixture of relief and exasperation, Murphy silently wished he'd never opened his mouth in the first place.

Bellamy sidled over, smirking, "Trouble in paradise?" Ignoring the murderous glare that Murphy hurled in his direction, Bellamy faced him again. "Look, I'm on your side. Raven _is_ reckless. She's willing to do whatever it takes to protect her friend and she's bullheaded as they come. I know that you love her but you've got to let her do what she needs to do. You can't change a woman like that, hard as you try. You might as well come to terms with it now. I saw her wearing your ring, Murphy. That kind of commitment doesn't come easily. You can't control her."

"Oh, so you'd let Clarke purposefully put herself into danger? And you'd just sit back and let it happen just because she's stubborn?" Murphy challenged.

"I don't—"

"Save it," Murphy cut Bellamy off brutally, "I see the way you look at her. I don't think it's a coincidence that Clarke is by your side day and night. You're in love with her." Murphy frowned, "I know you, Bellamy. If Clarke put herself in danger you would walk through fire to drag her out of it. That's how I feel about Raven." Gazing over at Bellamy, Murphy shook his head, "I would _die_ for her." He peered back at the grounders moving in the distance, before letting out a resigned sigh, "I probably will."

Silence hung between the two men. After a long pause, Bellamy cleared his throat to break the silence. "I never liked you, Murphy."

Murphy let out a sharp bark of laughter in response, "No shit, Bellamy. What's your point?"

"My point is that I'm actually starting to respect you. What you're doing for Raven, stepping up to be a father…especially when we both know that's not your kid." Bellamy's father had abandoned them and left his mother in dire straits; he'd been thrust into the role of father and protector to Octavia when he was five years old. If anyone could understand what Murphy was grappling with, it was Bellamy.

"I don't know what you _think_ you know…" Murphy's voice dripped with venom and although his words trailed off, the threat in his gaze was very real. If Bellamy so much as mentioned his suspicions to anyone, Murphy would break his promise to Raven. No one would drag her reputation through the mud like that.

"Relax," Bellamy frowned, "It wasn't that hard to figure out. You and Raven shacked up after the bomb on the bridge. She and Finn broke up earlier that night. There's no way." He folded his arms, "Even if you nailed it on the first try, Raven is too far along." Bellamy gritted his teeth, "What did Spacewalker have to say about all this?"

Murphy exhaled sharply as he tried to get a hold of his temper, the anger was still too fresh. "I went out after Finn; at that point we thought he'd been taken by the grounders. Instead he was fucking Anya in the middle of the woods, not even caring that anyone could watch their little shitshow."Raven told him point blank about her pregnancy and he blew her off. He said there was no way the baby was his and he wasn't going to take part in it. Honestly, he was more concerned about Anya than Raven." Murphy scrubbed a hand across his face. "That kid is mine in every way that counts. I'm going to be the best father I possibly can be…" Sighing, he peered back down the deserted path, "That is, if Raven ever talks to me again."

Bellamy clearly did not want to comfort Murphy but nonetheless, he attempted it. "Raven's got a lot on her plate right now but for some reason, she cares about you. She'll come around. I hate to say this but I think you two actually stand a chance…" Avoiding Murphy's questioning gaze, Bellamy brushed past him again. "Enough dawdling, we need to get back to camp and prepare everyone for the arrival of the grounders." The two men walked in unison back toward the camp, ignoring all eye contact. That was quite enough male bonding for one day.

Back at camp, Raven stomped into the weapons tent with Clarke hot on her heels. "Who the hell does he think he is?" Steam was practically billowing from her ears as she plopped down at the table. Looking up at Clarke, Raven scoffed, "I mean really! You give a guy an inch and he'll take a mile, am I right?"

Clarke cleared her throat. Raven had been venting since they left the meeting site and Clarke was at a loss. "Murphy's just feeling protective," Clarke soothed, trying to maintain diplomacy as best she could. Still, she was well aware of how dangerous the situation could become. "Although, I can understand why he might be concerned."

"Oh so you're on his side?" Raven snapped, "Well that just figures!"

"No! Raven, of course I'm on your side. You're the smartest person I know and you're the reason the grounders are joining forces with us. We need your expertise to fight the mountain men, okay?" Clarke settled beside Raven, resting a hand on her shoulder gently, "But Murphy's instinct is to protect you no matter what the cost, Raven. Even you have to admit this whole situation is dangerous. We're aligning ourselves with Anya and the grounders but the mountain men are a brand new threat." She explained, "Murphy's a fighter and he's ready to get his hands dirty. But this is a battle of technology and we don't fully understand it yet. He isn't sure what to do." Clarke gave Raven a gentle smile, "You're pregnant with his child, Raven. He's devoted to you and your baby in every way. I've seen it, we've _all_ seen it. Can't you see that he's only trying to help?"

"I never thought I'd see the day that _you_ defend Murphy." After the situation with Finn and Anya in the woods, Murphy had opened up about everything. He admitted to Raven all the depraved, dark things that haunted him. Raven knew that Murphy planned on killing Bellamy up until recently and had briefly entertained killing Clarke, though he readily admitted that the thought of hurting a woman made him violently ill. He was angry and confused but his moral compass—while damaged—still pointed him in the right direction most of the time. Raven also knew he drew strength from her and looked to her for guidance when he felt week. Gazing down at the ring on her finger, Raven felt slightly guilty. "Shit…" She murmured, exhaling sharply.

Clamoring from outside drew both Clarke and Raven's attention away. "They're here!" Someone shouted from outside the tent. Bellamy's voice rose above the rest, "Lower your weapons! We are not under attack!" Both girls pushed out of the tent as grounders stood at the gates carrying packs and supplies. Jogging toward the front lines, Raven slowed to a halt as she felt Murphy's eyes on her back. Maybe she didn't need to agitate him by running directly into a horde of grounders…

Clarke motioned to open the gate and the guards scrambled to comply. Anya stood at the front lines, with a hundred warriors of her own behind her. "DISARM!" Anya ordered and suddenly the men masked in bone and metal began to peel back the layers. Within a few minutes they stood in simple pants and shirts, tattered and torn from years of use. Standing before those who had come down from the Ark, they looked strikingly similar. They were simply two clans of people who were fighting for survival.

Leading the way through the gates, Anya strode toward Clarke, "We have brought the tires as promised. I am afraid that many are not salvageable."

"I don't need to salvage the tires, I need the rubber," Raven explained but Anya didn't understand. She'd have to show them all what she meant. "I'm going to need whoever we can spare to strip the tires down. We could use some of your guys, Anya. Clarke, get the guards changed out, I need Jasper and Monty on this project." She gazed up at the abandoned posts, "We still need eyes and ears out in case the mountain men are already out there."

Anya nodded in agreement, "I will send scouts out." Barking orders at the men at her command, she had everyone in line within seconds. Her people knew how to fall in and awaited her every word. The tires were placed outside the drop ship by the hundreds. Raven was suitably pleased by what they had brought her. It would be enough to make full armor for all of Murphy's guys and at least be able to provide some protection to the rest of them, in the event they got shot with an electrical current.

"Give the scouts a radio so they can report from the forest," Clarke had her own orders to be given, "We can spare two, three at the most." She sent Sterling to grab the extra radio from the second level of the drop ship and to collect two more radios from the archery team. Motioning for the medics to join them, Clarke started assigning everyone a task. "The grounders have traveled a long way with heavy armor and supplies, make sure that they all get some water and ration packets. Harper and Avalon: take an escort and go collect some more nuts, roots, and berries. We need anything you can find as we've doubled our population today." The food stores would keep the Hundred sustained for at least a couple weeks but with the addition of the grounders, their stock would quickly be depleted.

"I will also send my best hunters to get us some meat," Anya seemed incredibly pleased at the thoughtfulness of their hosts. Accepting a cup of water from Clarke, she took a sip and headed to survey the area. She could at least provide some tips on how to shore up their defenses for the coming war.

Meanwhile, Raven took her place at the head of the drop ship. Reaching for a tire, one of the grounders immediately picked it up and placed it where she asked. It seemed they weren't savages after all, they could be downright gentlemanly! Raven talked each of them through cutting around the hubcaps and extracting the rubber in strips; the larger the strip the better. Afterwards they were to separate the materials and keep going.

Late morning bled into afternoon and Raven had a large pile of rubber strips at her disposal. She'd need Octavia's seamstress skills to help her fashion these into armor later. However, right now the younger girl was enjoying a heartfelt reunion with the grounder that they'd tortured. There were no hard feelings, it seemed—at least not between Lincoln and Octavia. Despite all the voices and noises from people working, Raven could still make out the sounds of their passion. It actually made her miss Murphy…

A low headache had settled in the back of her neck. Speak of the devil, Raven turned and found Murphy standing there with a canteen and several ration packets. Sighing, she took them from him without argument. Of course he would be standing there with sustenance just as she needed it; he was forever anticipating her every need. Murphy was just infuriating in that way. Without a word, he turned and headed back toward his post. "Hey," Raven set the ration packets down and jogged forward, grabbing his arm, "You're not going to say anything?"

Murphy didn't move and he refused to face her. What the hell could he say? He had been a thoughtless asshole…just the fact that he'd made her upset cut him deep.

"Fine, you don't want to talk? I will then…" Stepping in front of him, Raven rested her hands against his chest, "You were right. I am reckless. I don't like to admit it, I guess."

"Raven, I shouldn't have—"

"I _also_ don't like being interrupted." Raven glared at Murphy until he closed his mouth tight. "Growing up the way I did, I wasn't afraid to take risks. When I actually found a cause, or a person, to care about I gave it my all. Taking risks is how I show I'm dedicated. I believed nobody cared if I lived or died…" Murphy shifted again and she grasped the sides of his face gently to hold his gaze, "Until you, Murphy." She exhaled sharply, "You love me enough to be honest even if it's not what I want to hear." Dark eyes fluttered closed for a moment, "Knowing that you'd fight and die for me isn't something I know how to respond to. I want you to be safe. I love you and I promise that I won't take any unnecessary risks with myself or our baby." Silence hung between them for a long time. Raven frowned markedly, "Don't you have anything to say, Murphy?"

"Am I allowed to talk now?" Murphy asked, skating a fine line between annoyance and amusement. Dodging a playful blow to his chest, he genuinely smiled, "That's all I ask, Raven. I need you to trust me and to come to me when you need help. And whatever you do, please don't go trying to get yourself blown up again." Murphy's hands rested against Raven's hips, his thumb gently brushing over the curve pushing against the waistband of her pants that was still well hidden by her winter clothing. Tugging her closer, he pressed a chaste kiss to her lips. "I love you both so much." Resting his forehead against hers, he cradled her close to him, "Does this mean that I can sleep in our tent tonight?"

"Do you promise not to be an overbearing jerk?"

Silence.

Raven sighed in exasperation, "Do you at least promise not to make it obvious that you're hovering?"

"Deal," Murphy wasn't that good at keeping the deal, though, for in the next breath, he narrowed his gaze, "You need to eat, Raven. I'm going to check on the rest of the combat team to make sure they aren't fooling around. I want to see all of those rations finished and at least half that canteen gone by the time I get back." Ignoring the mock glare she cast in his direction, he kissed her tenderly once more. "I'll see you tonight." With that, both Raven and Murphy returned to their respective tasks, very grateful that their first big fight was over with. Later on tonight, they would both greatly enjoy the best part of fighting: making up.

* * *

**Thank you all who have continued to read Perdition. I love writing this story. I don't think many people understand how much I love Murphy as an anti-hero on the show. I don't think Murphy is dead, they stabbed him in the leg and he was pretty far outside the blast radius. I really want lots more Murphy in season 2 of the 100. You can say a lot of things about Murphy BUT you know what? He protected the 100 by not telling the grounders, under torture, about the land mines. Murphy is redeemable and I'm having fun doing that in this story! **

**Reviews give me so much muse! So please, let me know what you think! I do this for free, don't forget! Reviews are your way of paying me back for my hard work. **

**Huge shout out to my Beta JustVisiting80 who writes SUCH AMAZING FANFIC herself in addition to editing mine. Seared with Scars. Read it. Enjoy. **


	10. Chapter 10

Night had fallen hard, bathing the world in a heavy cocoon of darkness. It had been three days since the grounders moved into camp and tensions still ran high. The grounders weren't used to sharing their territory or living in close quarters with others…then again, neither were the hundred. The only thing they all seemed to agree on was moving ahead with their plans in the war against the mountain men. There were scouts in all corners of the woods now, outfitted with radios. The first round of rubber armor had been doled out and everyone wore at least a little bit of the rubber beneath their clothing. The wall had been reinforced and strengthened per Lincoln's specifications. And the new technology was nearly completed thanks to Raven's quick work. She was tinkering with creating rockets with remote launch capability and bombs they could set to go off so that nobody had to put themselves in danger to detonate them.

When the flap to the weapons tent opened, Raven expected it to be Murphy. It was _always_ Murphy. The smile that ghosted over her lips disappeared when she found Anya standing in front of her. For a long moment Anya said nothing. Raven ignored her momentarily; she focused her attention on pulling the wire out of a toy car to determine if it was salvageable or not. Raven had asked the grounders to bring her anything mechanical they could find. She now had a massive pile of remote controlled toys, old AM/FM radios, broken watches, cell phones, alarm clocks, and one wiseass that had brought her a slinky. The tension in the room rose as Anya lingered, staring at Raven with those shrewd hazel eyes. Anya wasn't going away. Raven exhaled sharply, "Is there something you need? I'm kind of busy here."

"You are very brave for someone with so much to lose," Anya replied but there was no malice in her voice. Striding forward, Anya settled down in front of Raven as if she had been invited to do so. "I, too, had a child once. She was lost in battle, taken away by the mountain men and slaughtered with the rest of my people. They are cruel and vicious and they do not honor our treaties. Our people are fierce warriors but we do _not_ murder children and innocents. There are so few women left among us, we do not kill them either. But the mountain men will destroy anyone in their path without hesitation. You must be careful…"

Raven felt a pang of sympathy for Anya spear through her, "I didn't know you had achild. I'm sorry." Raven licked her lips, "We're going to fight with everything we have and we're _going_ to win. The mountain men have never gone up against me before." Setting the screwdriver down, Raven rested her hands against her swollen womb. "We have the archers and our combat teams are in top form. Murphy's done an amazing job with them."

Anya straightened her posture, "Your Murphy is very brave. Even as we tortured him, he said nothing for days. Your people cast him aside and yet he refused to give in. When he finally buckled under the pressure, he told us more lies than truths…if we had not needed him to bring the illness to your camp, we would have been forced to kill him." Anya smiled gently; in her eyes, everything she said about Murphy was a compliment, "He's an excellent warrior. You are very lucky…" There was a note of something akin to jealousy in her voice.

Raven nearly fell out of her chair in shock. Anya made it sound like Murphy's torture was some kind of heroic endeavor. It was sick…Murphy's body may have recovered from the physical damage but he was covered in scars that lingered on his flesh and in his mind. They had torn off his fingernails in an attempt to extract information, the thought of that kind of pain made Raven cringe. Just the fact that Murphy continued to keep his promises to her belied the depth of his feelings for her. She admired the hell out of him for it. Walking around the table, Raven faced Anya head on. "We may have an alliance with your people but that sure as hell doesn't mean we are going to be friends. Why are you here?"

Standing to her full height, Anya rested a palm on the table, "I came to inform you that I do not intend to kill your man for the crimes he has committed against me." In the woods, Murphy had threatened Anya's life, an offense which was punishable by death. "You should not fear me, Raven. We are on the same side."

Scoffing, Raven shook her head, "I was never afraid of you, Anya. Don't get me wrong, you have that badass bitch vibe going on but I've got skills of my own." She licked her lips, "Since we're laying it all out there. I've got a warning of my own for you. Be careful…Finn's a good guy but he's got a lot of growing up to do."

For the first time in a long time, Anya genuinely smiled. "I am not the type to lose my heart so easily. I have learned my lessons well." Her gaze swept over Raven, settling on her womb, "I see the way you inspire men to fight for you. Finn told me that you were once his woman and even though you have spurned him, he would not turn his back on you. Truly, every person I've met at this camp would go to war for you. You remind me very much of myself at your age…" Anya dipped her head; this was the greatest compliment that she could bestow upon someone. "You will be a great leader someday, Raven."

Anya's revelation shocked Raven to her core. Was she really destined to become Anya? Would Raven lead nations and inspire her people? There would be differences of course, Raven knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that her child would not know the horrors of war. She would do anything to shelter this child from the evils that lived in this world; starting with eradicating the mountain men. Raven would also hold on to her love and honor her commitments to Murphy. Anya seemed to be doing the same with Finn. Maybe comparing the two women wasn't such a stretch. "Thanks…" Raven replied and then narrowed her eyes again, "This doesn't mean I forgive you for what you did to Murphy."

"Understood."

Murphy had finished the training with the combat team on how to protect themselves against tasers and other biological and chemical weapons. He was so looking forward to spending time with Raven and finally getting some sleep. Pushing open the flap of the tent, Murphy's heart almost stopped when he realized that Raven was standing inches from Anya. Dropping his pack immediately, he stalked over and put himself between the two women. "Raven, are you alright?" Murphy thundered. His expression bordered on murderous as he turned to Anya. Hands tightening into fists, he tugged Raven against him possessively. Slipping a hand over her womb, Murphy paused. With his palm resting over their child, he would not lose his temper. This little life inside of Raven grounded him and brought him peace…even if only momentarily. "Is someone going to tell me what the hell is going on here?"

Raven turned to Murphy, pressing her body flush against his. "We were just talking. I'm good, Murphy." Kissing him chastely, Raven gazed back at Anya for a moment. "You should go. I'm sure Finn is waiting for you." The taller woman nodded her acquiescence and promptly left the tent without another word. Raven dragged a hand through Murphy's dark hair as she cradled him against her body.

Inhaling sharply, he ignored the impulses that surged in his veins as she pressed her newly voluptuous body up against his. She had been gorgeous before but pregnancy had been good to her and no one was more aware of that than him. "Don't try and distract me, Raven," Murphy ground out, his hands slipping over her hips as he assessed her for injury, "Did she try to hurt you?"

Shaking her head, Raven chuckled, "She came here to tell me that you were pardoned for your crimes against her. I guess tossing a woman into the brush is an offense punishable by death." Meeting Murphy's gaze, Raven was glad to find that he shared her humor, "You impressed her. Apparently, you're really great at being tortured. She said it was a mark of honor and your strength as a warrior." Raven slid her fingers across Murphy's chest; she knew each twisted scar by heart now. "Honestly, she seems lonely…" Looking up at him, she licked her lips, "Have you noticed there's not another female grounder anywhere around here?"

Murphy raised an eyebrow, "I guess I haven't really had time to think about it…but you're right." He shrugged. Even talking about the torture ached in his gut. He put on a brave front for the woman he loved but that pain still plagued him. Living among the grounders responsible for his agony was not an easy task; Murphy wasn't sure he'd ever be able to move past it. Then again, he had made his peace with the people who had strung him up and hung him for a crime he didn't commit. Perhaps deep down Murphy was actually a saint…or maybe Raven made him better in every possible way. There was no question in his mind that it was the latter. Raven made him whole and with her by his side, he could hold onto his sanity. "Guess that's why Anya decided to pick up with Finn. Those grounders are fierce fighters. Finn is the soft, sensitive type…"

Raven laughed, "That makes perfect sense." Snuggling against Murphy's chest, she felt such a sense of calm. "It also makes me realize how lucky I am to have you." Drawing comfort from his arms wrapped around her, Raven sighed heavily, "While I'd love to stay like this for the rest of the evening, I have a ton of work to do. I can't waste any more time…"

"I promised not to hover but as you'll recall I reserved the right to be an overbearing jerk. So get your things. We're going home now and you're going to sleep." Murphy stroked her cheek gently. "You've hardly rested at all in the past three days. Don't even try to argue with me about it. I know you, Raven. You're exhausted." She was still trying to protest and Murphy narrowed his eyes, "We can do this the easy way or the hard way, it's your choice."

Hands on her hips, Raven gazed at him defiantly. Murphy grabbed his pack and slung it over his shoulder without missing a beat. "Hard way it is." He wrapped an arm around Raven's shoulders and then swung her into his arms. Ducking out of the tent, Murphy carried her all the way home. In true Raven fashion, she protested loudly the entire way but didn't make any move to disentangle herself from his arms lest he lose his footing and drop them both. Easing into their living space, Murphy laid her onto their pallet and carefully undid the laces on her boots as if she were a small child. "I know you want to get everything done before we go up against the mountain men. Jasper and Monty are going to be with you all day tomorrow to help with your projects and so will I…but you're pregnant and you need to rest."

Nodding quietly, Raven tugged out of her coat and rested on her side, facing Murphy. Just being on a soft surface was causing her eyes to droop sleepily, "You're right…as usual." Murphy was still bustling around to put things to right. "Hey, you need to sleep too." Grasping his hand, she pulled him down beside her. Honestly, she was too exhausted to make a move tonight and he sensed that instantly. His hand found its place where it belonged, cradling their unborn child. Staring down at his hand, Raven smiled gently at the ring on her finger. Anya called Murphy her man and that was certainly true...but there was more to it than that. "Murphy?"

"Yeah?" Gazing over at Raven, Murphy searched her face. There was uncertainty in her gaze and that made his stomach tighten in anticipation. "What's the matter?"

"We never really got a chance to talk about everything the other day…" Lifting her hand, she brushed her thumb over the ring he'd made her. "Between the meeting with the grounders and them moving into camp, things have been a little crazy." Raven peered up at him, "You said that this ring could mean whatever I want it to, right?"

Murphy nodded, his thumb tracing gentle circles over her womb as she spoke. "It's a symbol of the promise I made to you and our child. It's a token of my love… but it's in no way meant to pressure you into making any decisions. I know I'm not the guy that girls dream about ending up with…I would understand if it's not what you want, Raven. I'll be here for you in whatever way you need me to."

Raven furrowed her eyebrows, "Hey, I tried it with Prince Charming. Turns out? He's a dick." Shifting closer, she slipped her arms around Murphy's shoulders. "You're the guy that girls don't realize they want until you're already there," She kissed him tenderly. "I've been wearing this ring for three days and I never want to take it off. It's a part of me…just like you're a part of me." Raven hesitated, "I want this ring to mean that I'm your wife."

Thankfully, Murphy was not standing up. Sitting up quickly, he leaned over her, "Nothing would make me happier." Kissing her swiftly, he felt pure love flowing over him.

Chucking softly, she smiled, "Raven Murphy has a nice ring to it." Entwining her fingers with his, she felt such a sense of peace and calm wash over her. Once and for all, Raven could put the pain of her past behind her; she could start over with a new name and a new life waiting for her to grab a hold of it. As an afterthought, Raven reached into her pack and pulled out a ring that she'd made of leftover copper wire. It had taken some doing but she'd twisted it into a neat plait and then cauterized the metal shut so it would keep its shape. "It's not as good as yours but I hope it'll do. I want everyone to know you're mine."

"It's perfect," Murphy felt such _emotion_ that he could hardly contain it. He was on shaky, unfamiliar ground here and he was so glad that he had Raven to hold onto for support. "I love you so much." Closing his eyes, he held her close. Everything he'd done in his life, good and bad, had led him to this moment. Murphy wasn't a God-fearing man but in that moment, he said a silent thank you to the universe for all that it had bestowed upon him.

Yawning softly, Raven snuggled in tighter, "I love you too." Raven yearned to bask in this moment, Raven was exhausted. Three days of very little sleep and being pregnant had sapped her energy. As much as she'd have liked to consummate their union, there would be plenty of time for that after they secured their future and vanquished the mountain men. Eyes fluttering closed, her breathing became soft and even.

Murphy couldn't stop the smile that seemed permanently branded on his face ever since he met Raven. Pressing a gentle kiss to the crown of her head, he drifted towards dreamland. These were dangerous times they lived in but with his new wife by his side and their child in her belly, he had something to believe in and to fight for. Just as he was about to drift off a thunderous boom shook the ground. Sitting bolt upright, Murphy was immediately on high alert.

Raven groggily wiped at her eyes, scrambling to sit up. Holding her belly gently, she started putting on her boots again, "What the hell just happened?"

A light so bright that it burned their eyes filled the entire sky. Stepping out of the tent, Murphy shielded his eyes against the violent white. Terror filled his heart and set his jaw, "This is it, Raven. They're here."

* * *

**They're heeeeeeeeere...**

**Review if you want to find out what the F just happened. The reviews spark my muse! So please, let me know!**

**Thank you SO MUCH to my amazing Beta JustVisiting80. I have kept her very busy this weekend...oops. **


	11. Chapter 11

"STAND YOUR GROUND!" A voice thundered above the shrieks and cries that rang through camp.

The mountain men had arrived and they pulled no punches. High above their heads there was a beacon of light that illuminated the world and gave their attackers a clearer view of what was happening below. Once the mountain men established a visual, the attack had begun. They were deploying electrical weaponry the likes of which Raven had never seen before. The smell of static crackled in the icy cold air as everyone scrambled for cover. The armor seemed to be working against the charges…but this battle was far from over.

Another thunderous explosion rattled the Hundred and the grounders alike. Nothing fell from the sky but suddenly all the radios simultaneously went dead. "Those fuckers just blasted three months worth of work!" Raven swore a blue streak as she and Murphy hurried toward the weapons tent in tandem. Ducking into the tent, Raven began rifling through her stash of projects. Parts and tools were flying left and right; several times, she narrowly avoided knocking Murphy upside the head.

Murphy was quickly growing frustrated with her organizational system. "Raven, what do you have that we can use _right now_?" All he could think about was protecting Raven and their child. They had managed to outsmart the mountain men by making these rubber vests but Murphy knew there was something far worse coming. Another explosion from overhead bathed the landscape in darkness and an uneasy feeling filled Murphy's chest. She was still engrossed in her thoughts. "Raven…"

Slammed back into reality, Raven scrubbed a hand over her face. Mentally shaking herself, she turned to face him, "We've got a handful of grenades, three missiles that might launch but I haven't tested them yet, a couple of clips, and the bows." All she could think was that it wasn't going to be enough. These mountain men had taken away their most important asset: communication. Without the radios, they wouldn't be able to fight as effectively. Sighing, she dragged a hand through her dark hair, "Grab those two boxes. I've got this one…we need to get to the drop ship."

Flashbombs rained down over their heads. The resultant sparks ignited the dried leaves and dead grass immediately. Several tents were already on fire and people ran to and fro, collecting water to douse the flames. Murphy remained several steps ahead of Raven, clearing a path as they stormed their way back to the designated meeting place. Bellamy, Clarke, Finn, Lincoln, and Octavia were huddled there, anxiously awaiting their arrival. Anya stepped in behind Raven and Murphy. "My scouts have returned. The mountain men have amassed on the southernmost ridge," She announced.

"Good," Raven replied, "We have the south wall fully mined. They won't be expecting that..." Ushering Murphy forward, he set the boxes down. "This is what I've got. It's not much but we're going to have to make do. Our best bet is that I've got three missile prototypes. I've got a remote launching system built in but there's no telling it it'll work. If that fails there's switches inside the rockets that'll allow them to launch. It'll either work like a charm or end up blowing me to smithereens…"

Murphy practically growled, "You aren't going to be the one detonating them, Raven. For fuck's sake, I—"

"Murphy," Bellamy cut him off immediately, "Obviously the pregnant chick isn't going to be in charge of the rockets. I'll set them; it's not a big deal." Before he could take a step forward, he was met with resistance.

"No!" Clarke grabbed his arm and held tight, "It's too dangerous. We _need_ you, Bellamy…" _She _needed him. Blue eyes met brown as Clarke pleaded with Bellamy silently to reconsider. "I can set them then, if it's not a big deal!"

"There is no way in hell!" Bellamy would never let Clarke put herself in that kind of peril. Anya was right there at his side arguing that they needed a healer more than they needed another leader. Finn had remained suspiciously silent through the proceedings and stayed toward the back of the drop ship, watching passively. The argument grew more heated when Lincoln arrived with Octavia and more voices joined the fray.

Slamming his fist down on the exam table, Murphy let out a ragged breath. "I'll do it!" Silence filled the room for a moment. "Wouldn't be the first time I've been in the line of fire." Catching Raven's worried gaze, he leaned forward and kissed her gently. "I have to do this, Raven, it's the only option. I'm expendable…"

"I was hoping 'until death do us part' could last a little bit longer than twenty minutes!" Raven snarled, "You are not expendable, Murphy! I need you and our baby needs you..." Snuggling against her husband, Raven wound her arms around his shoulders. Murphy had sacrificed everything for these people who had strung him up to die. Now it seemed he would be forced to give up his life too. "Please…"

Sliding his hands over the protrusion of her belly, Murphy nuzzled her neck tenderly. "There's a possibility we won't need to worry about it, Raven. You said it yourself, you installed a remote system. You're amazing with this stuff." Leaning his forehead against hers, his thumb traced circles over her growing womb to help calm her and the child. "If the remote starters don't work then we'll do it this way. The only way we're going to know is if we try. So, let's try…"Bending, he kissed her chastely yet she immediately deepened it, pressing tighter against him. Inhaling sharply, Murphy cradled her tight.

Bellamy coughed loudly and folded his arms over his chest, "There will be time for that later. Come on," He urged. Striding toward the door to the drop ship, Bellamy led the way. "We need to do this outside the wall, just in case." Were those missiles to detonate it would likely be catastrophic and he wasn't willing to risk everyone's lives.

Reluctantly disentangling herself from Murphy, Raven opened up the box where she had the rockets lined up. The cylinders had been filled with extremely reactive hydrazine and mixed with just enough of a stable isotope that it would hopefully delay the explosion until it hit the intended target. Raven didn't want to do this without a full scale test but they were out of options. The electrical currents the mountain men dropped were terrifying…but the fact that everything had seemingly died down was even worse. "We have to hurry…"

"Way ahead of you," Murphy had grabbed all three of the missiles and was already headed for the wall. His heart thudded in his chest; it was a dark, somber death knell. Striding to the gate, he stepped outside. Bellamy followed him out and helped Murphy collect rocks to help prop the missiles upward while Raven got the detonator ready. Silently they worked, preparing for the worst and praying for the best. When finally they were ready, Murphy cuffed Bellamy's arm tightly. "If something happens to me…"

Bellamy turned to face Murphy, his face contorted into a mask of uncertainty and trepidation. "I'll look out for her and the kid, okay?" Bellamy let out a rumbling sigh, "And I'll make sure your kid knows that you died a hero."

"I'm not a hero," Murphy shook his head, but a smirk crossed his features nonetheless. "I'm only doing this for Raven. The rest of you can burn to ash for all I care." Maybe that wasn't the whole truth but this wasn't the time to argue about semantics. "Tell Raven that we're set up."

Bellamy smirked. Murphy may have wanted to believe that he was only helping Raven but Bellamy knew that Murphy had changed drastically over the last few weeks. Murphy _did_ care about this camp. He diligently worked with the combat team and created weapons tailored to each of their strengths. He pitched in to help with repairs, too, something that the old Murphy would never have offered to do. And he'd become Raven's protector, lover, and husband. These were not the acts of a man who was evil to the core. Bellamy nodded his acquiescence, "Good luck."

Murphy took a shaky breath and stepped away from the missiles. Raven continued tinkering with the remote, swearing bitterly. "Whatever the fuck they're using to jam the radio signal is blocking this one too. I can't do anything!" Tears collected in her eyes as she dragged a hand through her dark hair. "He's going to have to detonate manually and I…" Raven nearly collapsed under the weight of her grief, "I can't lose him, I just can't…"

Clarke wrapped her arms around Raven, hugging her tight. "It'll be okay, he's strong." Looking over at Bellamy with sadness in her eyes, Clarke gave the command, "Tell Murphy he needs to detonate manually."

"I will go," Anya replied hotly. Taking a step forward, her eyes fluttered shut as Finn stepped in front of her. "Anya, what are you doing?" Finn grasped her shoulders and she leaned in, kissing him hard on the mouth. For several moments, neither of them breathed. Finally, Anya stood tall, "I am doing what is right." Scaling the wall easily, Anya dropped down beside Murphy. Turning to face the man she'd tortured, Anya met his questioning gaze, "Return to your wife. That is an order."

"Anya, what the hell is going on?" Murphy didn't like this bitch one bit, not after everything she'd done to him. Yet she seemed bound and determined to remove him from his post. "This isn't the time to play games. Nothing has gone off yet so I'm assuming I need to get these missiles off the ground. I am not going to get blamed for you getting in on the action. Get inside and take cover."

"No…" Anya replied coldly, "_I _am going to do it." She didn't understand this technology or these people and their strange ways; she did know love. Anya had loved a man once; they had a beautiful son who filled her heart with joy. Then the mountain men stole everything she'd ever cared about, leaving her a hollow shell of her former self. This was Anya's revenge. She would see these monsters burned before the day was through. "You need to be with your wife and child…"

Murphy furrowed his eyebrows, "What about your people? Who will lead them if you're gone?"

Anya ignored his question. Kneeling beside the missile, she found the technology was completely foreign to her**. .** "Tell me what I must do." Gazing up at Murphy, she impatiently awaited his reply.

Hesitating a moment, he slipped beside her, "It's pretty simple. There's a small switch inside the panel…" Helping her remove the first one, he grasped her hand, "You'll have to feel for it. Once you push it up, you have five seconds to get the hell away from the missile or you're going to get blasted. Do you understand?" Anya nodded and Murphy smiled gently, "Thank you."

"You are wasting time." Anya barked, ignoring the tender moment they had very nearly shared. "Get behind the wall _now_!" Turning her back, she took a deep breath. Waiting until Murphy had scaled the wall, Anya crouched again, feeling for the switch.

Five…four…three…two…one.

The missile rocketed upward, leaving charred earth and an acrid burning smell in its wake as it blasted high above the trees. The explosion filled the air, shaking the entire ground as it soared toward its destination. Moments later, another blast hurtled through the sky, this one landing far further North thanks to the wind. Raven held her breath, waiting for the third blast. "Come on," She prayed to any God that would listen. Looking up, she suddenly realized that Murphy was walking toward her. Raven's knees buckled and he caught her just in time. "Murphy, what the hell is going on? If you're here then…who—"

"Anya," Finn's voice was tight with pain as he stared at the plume of smoke that curled toward the sky. He had instinctively known that when she'd kissed him a few minutes ago, she was saying goodbye. Closing his eyes, Finn turned his back to the wall, unwilling to share the depth of his emotion with those who had gathered.

Bellamy peered at Clarke, his arm finding her waist immediately. Protectively, he pulled Clarke against him as they stared up at the sky. After tonight, Bellamy was never letting her go again. Clarke cast a concerned gaze at Finn, "Don't give up. Anya's tough, she survived the bomb at the bridge and has spent her entire life here on Earth…it's going to take more than a little blast to take her down."

Time ticked by and they were all holding their breath for the third missile. Five minutes passed, then ten. Finn was growing more restless as they waited. Murphy glanced at Raven as she burrowed tighter against him, unwilling to let go. Whispers erupted as the first rays of sunlight began to appear on the horizon. Finn couldn't wait a second more. Storming the wall, he leapt over and frantically searched the area, "She's gone!" He hollered. Nothing moved outside the wall. Murphy, Raven, Bellamy and Clarke followed closely behind. "There's no sign of her…not a drop of blood, nothing!" Turning to Raven, his eyes were pleading, "How far could these missiles have blown her if…"

"If she got caught in the blast, she'd likely have hit the wall. We'd have heard it," Raven explained, "That's just basic physics." Raven stepped beside Finn, "Look, if she got caught in the crossfire we'd see pieces of her all over the place. Getting blown up is not something that happens without a lot of carnage." Maybe it wasn't the best way to explain it but Finn seemed to relax nonetheless. Over the years he had grown used to Raven's candor.

The sun rose higher in the sky. Although it was easier to see the ground below them, the luminescence shed little light on what had happened. Anya's people began to pour out of the gate, worried and uncertain. Lincoln led the coalition, somberly. "If Anya was taken we must go in search of her…"

"They're drawing us out," Bellamy shook his head, "They want us to follow so they can pick us off one by one. We're going into unknown territory to fight an enemy that we don't fully understand."

"That's what we trained for: a war with an enemy we know nothing about and who have far more experience than we do." Murphy replied, "We're ready to for this, Bellamy. So, we break up into our combat teams, the archers keep lookout, we bring a couple medics with us and then we show the mountain men who they're dealing with." They also had the assistance of the grounders now and that would only work in their favor.

Clarke nodded, "Murphy's right. We don't leave any of our own behind, Bellamy. We have to go after her." Stepping up onto a large rock, Clarke hollered until she had everyone's attention. "Listen up! This is what we trained for. Divide yourself into groups of twelve. Every group gets an archer and a medic; make sure there is only one per group! Combat team: divide yourselves per Murphy's instructions. Lincoln, the grounders should divvy themselves up between groups. We will need at least one team to stay and defend camp." Everyone was in agreement and the entirety of camp erupted into a flurry of activity. "We need to be ready to go within the hour. The longer we wait, the less likely it is that we'll get to Anya in time." Once the orders had been given, Clarke hopped down off the rock. Bellamy was right behind her and they walked back to camp in unison, giving orders as they went.

Most people had left the launch site which gave Murphy and Raven a moment to themselves. He stood beside her, stoic and reserved. Before he had a chance to open his mouth, Raven cut him off, "I don't care what you say, Murphy. I am going with you." She snapped, "The mountain men have the most advanced technology I've ever seen. If we have any hope of getting Anya home and defeating these guys, you need me!"

"I _do_ need you," Murphy replied softly, "Which is why you aren't leaving my side." He stroked her cheek gently, "I know you, Raven. You're not going to sit tight. You're too damn smart and you'd slip any guard I put on you. So, I need to protect you myself."Kissing her softly, he smiled, "Under no circumstances are you to go looking for trouble, understood?"

Raven beamed. He was learning to compromise and she appreciated that more than he'd ever know. "I promise."

Raven and Murphy hurried back to the tent to grab the remainder of the weapons they'd collected. Murphy had a couple more knives and spears. There were also a handful of clips left and Bellamy passed out guns to each group. "Murphy!" Raven and her husband turned at the same time. "I am never going to get used to there being two Murphys in this camp…" Bellamy groaned, "_John_. We've got a situation…"

"Just wait until there are three of us," Murphy replied, smirking over at Raven. They were set and ready to roll out whenever they got the signal. "What do you need?"

"I have to assemble the rest of the archers and make sure they have full quivers before we march." The combat teams, on the other hand, had divided themselves up just like in training and were ready to kick ass and take names. Since Murphy's team was at the ready, that left him free to take care of this situation."One of the medics is having a bit of a freak-out. I was hoping you could talk her down?"

Murphy gazed at Bellamy as if he'd grown another head. "I'm not exactly known for my winning personality but I'll give it a try…" Murphy was the last person on earth who would know how to comfort someone; unless that someone was Raven, of course. She walked alongside him at a fairly even clip. She, too, was surprised by Bellamy's request, "You don't think he confused us, do you?" Pushing back the curtain to the drop ship, Raven shook her head, "Oh _hell_ no…" Murphy grasped Raven's hand, "Wait outside, alright?"

Harper's face was red and streaked with tears as she looked up from her balled up position on the ground. As soon as she saw Murphy she threw herself backwards until she bumped against the wall of the drop ship and there was nowhere left to go. She crumpled at his feet, begging unintelligibly for mercy. Murphy scrubbed a hand over his face; he was torn between his baser instincts and his vow to Raven. Eventually his sensitivity won out; they needed everyone they could get in this battle, even _her_. "Relax," Murphy commanded, inching closer to her, "Harper…"

"Please don't kill me," Harper blubbered, "Please, Murphy, I don't want to die!" Her entire body was shaking as she peered up at him. "It doesn't matter, does it? I either die here or out there on the battlefield." She wept bitterly, burying her face in her hands.

Reigning in his initial annoyance at Harper having a meltdown,Murphy crouched beside her, "I'm not going to kill you. You did what I asked. I'm a man of my word, Harper." Murphy haphazardly placed a hand on her shoulder, "I get that you're freaked but you're going to be surrounded by warriors on all sides. There is nowhere safer on this entire planet, okay? You've got a better chance of dying in your bed." He met her terrified gaze, "Our guys need you there in case one of them gets hurt. That's your job, Harper."

Harper's sobs diminished to sniffles. As Murphy's words sunk in, she began to relax. Wiping her face, she found the strength to sit up on her knees. "They'll protect me if the mountain men attack, right?" Her voice was small and weak.

"Of course they will," Murphy replied hotly, "Look, if it makes you feel better, I'll put you in Drew's group. He'll look out for you, alright?" Everybody in this entire camp—ironically, except for Drew—knew that Harper had a thing for him. Murphy's compromise seemed to seal the deal. Harper picked herself up off the ground. Immediately she grabbed her pack and headed toward the door. Murphy gave Harper half a smile which was as much as he could muster when it came to her. He held open the drop ship's curtain for her as he gave her a stern warning, "Get to your group, we're moving out momentarily…" Harper marched out; turning for a moment, she bit her lip before hugging Murphy tightly. He grabbed her by the back of her jacket and peeled her off him, "_Now_, Harper!" The blonde girl flounced away, hurrying to find Drew in the sea of people amassed at the gates.

Raven raised an eyebrow as Murphy stood at her side, "Do I even want to know?" Jealousy burned through her until he leaned down and kissed her hard. "Bellamy, Clarke, Finn, Lincoln, Octavia and the two of us are going to lead the strike," Raven explained. Stalking to the front lines, Murphy gripped his wife with one hand and his knife in the other. This was the moment of truth. Stepping onto the frontlines, Murphy gazed out over the horizon. "We're all set. Let's move out." Facing the forest before them, the troops began their march. Their fate had already been sealed, now it was simply a matter of going out to meet it.

* * *

**It's really weird not having a new 100 episode tonight and kind of sad! It gave me some time to write this chapter though! Please keep reviewing if you want new chapters, it does wonders for my muse! Huge shoutout to my beta JustVisiting80. Seared with Scars got a new chapter recently too! If you haven't read it, go do it now!**


	12. Chapter 12

Raven stopped cold and grabbed hold of Murphy's arm, tugging him back. The seven of them had been walking for an hour and were finally at the boundary of Mount Weather. "Get down," Raven commanded. She pointed toward the tree line where there was a cleverly hidden device logging their every move. "They have _cameras_!" The lens swept their way and Raven swore bitterly, "We need to assume that the mountain men already know we're here. I'd bet you anything that these cameras are motion activated. Even if they aren't, we need to take it out and when their feed dies, it's going to tip them off."

Bellamy didn't need any encouragement. He fired one of the metal tipped arrows at the camera with pinpoint accuracy. The device shorted out and then fell from its perch onto the pile of leaves below. "Show off…" Octavia murmured before she shared a soft look with Lincoln that wiped the triumphant smile off Bellamy's handsome face. Clarke rested her hand on Bellamy's arm in recognition of his accomplishment, which seemed to calm him immediately. Murphy rolled his eyes skyward at the display of affection, which earned him an elbow in the ribs from Bellamy. Tensions were running high and it was clear that the weary travelers were losing steam.

Finn stood immediately, prepared to storm the border, "We need to move."Lincoln grabbed him by the shoulder. Lincoln frowned at Finn, shaking his head fervently, "Do not be foolish! We should wait for nightfall. They will not be able to track us as easily in the dark." Finn tensed angrily and shoved him away, "No! The longer we wait, the less likely it is that Anya will still be alive!" He snapped. "We go now." Looking to Bellamy with pleading eyes, it was clear that the oldest Blake stood with Lincoln on this one.

For several moments, no one spoke. It seemed that Murphy needed to play the villain once more for Finn's sake. "Lincoln's right," Murphy replied, "If we cross the boundary in broad daylight we'll be sitting ducks. It's an hour until sunset. It makes sense to wait." Clarke and Bellamy nodded their agreement. Raven stood by Murphy always, though she cast a concerned look in Finn's direction.

"What the hell do you care? You tried to kill Anya once before…" Finn snarled. Pain was written across his features as he pointed an accusatory finger at Murphy. "This time you may actually succeed!"

Murphy felt anger crawl into his gut, "If you want to blame me, go ahead." Raven was instantly standing between the two men, her hand flush against Murphy's chest to hold him back. Yet he refused to back down. "I went out there ready to launch those missiles manually. Anya came to me and ordered me back into the compound. You _know_ Anya, she wasn't going to back down. This was her decision."

"Oh yeah, because you're really good at taking orders, right?" Finn snapped sarcastically. Finn gritted his teeth angrily, "You don't understand. After everything she's been through—"

"You mean losing her child?" Raven interjected coldly; six pairs of eyes snapped to stare at her. "Anya's daughter was killed by the mountain men. It was very important to her that _my_ family didn't end up broken. I didn't even like the bitch! She _tortured_ Murphy and her people have killed so many of ours…but this we saw eye to eye on. Family is the only thing that matters. So she made a choice, Finn. You saw her, she was bound and determined." Finn visibly deflated as Raven spoke. She sighed softly, "I know you're hurt but trying to pin this on Murphy isn't going to accomplish anything. It's going to take all of us to get Anya back, okay?"

Nobody said a word. Murphy was deadly calm, and it was a frightening sight to behold. His cobalt eyes simmered with rage. Finn on the other hand was clenching his fist, shaking with anger. Raven scoffed, "Seriously, do we need to whip it out and measure up or can we put this to rest?" Finn turned his back and Raven exhaled in relief. Finn wasn't going to do anything stupid, at the moment. At least there was comfort in that. Resting against Murphy's chest, Raven smiled as he wrapped her in his embrace and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

There was time now to rest before the final battle and everyone acknowledged it in their own way. They were all waiting for the sun to set. Clarke mothered the group by handing out ration packets and looking over cuts, scrapes, and bruises. Eager to fill his time and to get away from the group, Finn took first watch. Lincoln and Octavia went to scout the area, affording them some alone time. Bellamy didn't like that his little sister was out 'scouting' with a grounder but he refused to stray far from Clarke's side. His shoulder pressed against Clarke's as they talked quietly about anything and nothing. In their own little corner, Murphy cradled Raven against his body, his hand resting on her belly as she slept; it comforted him that she rested peacefully and that the child was safe, even if it was for just an hour.

The shadows slowly surrounded the weary soldiers as they rallied their strength once more. Finn led the battalion, though Lincoln remained only a pace behind. Raven stayed in the middle with Murphy, who was intent on keeping her safe from attack. As they forded the half-frozen rapids, Murphy held tight to his wife for fear of her losing her balance. Ignoring the icy water that felt like needles against his skin, he helped her over the boundary before climbing up himself. The incline was incredibly steep toward the military base and Murphy was hyper vigilant. He made a note of Raven's breathing and their pace. He wouldn't risk anything happening to her. Thankfully she made the journey fairly easily; she was not yet too encumbered by her pregnancy. Still, it didn't give him any comfort knowing they were marching closer to danger and Raven was still at his side.

Stepping over the ridge, Lincoln clasped his hand over Octavia's mouth just as she was poised to speak. Pointing upward at two snipers on top of the building, Lincoln ignored Bellamy's glare. There was little ground cover here and any false move would make it easy for the snipers to pick them off one by one. Bellamy notched his bow with expert precision; one arrow went through the first sniper's neck and the other straight through the other man's eye. He waited a moment, a third bow at the ready in case there were more gunmen waiting…but nothing stirred. They were clear.

Moving toward the door, the group flanked each side of the heavy door that led into the compound. They had to be ready for anything that might burst through. Weapons were drawn, breaths were held and prayers to the gods were silently led the charge. As he kicked through the door there was suddenly…nothing. Deafening silence reigned up and down the long, eerie corridor. The grey halls were illuminated in yellow fluorescent light, occasionally guttering as the group eased their way into the belly of the beast. Slipping further up a passage, Finn crouched low and prepared to strike. Yet all that sat there was a man, slack jawed; his gun hung off his shoulder and rested haphazardly on the floor. It took half a second for Finn to realize that the guard's eyes were clouded and dead, "What the hell is going on here?"

Bellamy grabbed the gun off the dead guard quickly and tossed it over his own shoulder, "Fuck if I know…someone's been here before us." There was a trail of blood leading them toward a hallway filled with doors. The twisting of a doorknob suddenly caught their attention and Bellamy scrambled to get the gun over his shoulder. Lincoln grabbed his broadsword from its holster and Octavia pulled a nearly identical blade from its sheath. Murphy put himself in front of Raven, his knife at the ready. The door burst open and Anya stood there, a small child resting at her hip. "Anya!" Finn's voice echoed down the corridor. Immediately weapons were dropped and Finn pushed forward, grasping her face and kissing her sweetly. "I thought—"

"I do not need to be rescued, dear heart…but thank you for coming for me." Anya rested her forehead against Finn's for just a moment. As much as she would have liked to savor their reunion, there was still much to be done. "Lincoln," She turned to him in a flash, "Many of our people are in the cells below. I have freed some of our warriors but they are very weak. I have slaughtered many but I do not know how many more hide within these walls." Without hesitation, Lincoln stormed down toward the catacombs with Octavia hot on his heels. A soft whimper emanated from the child wrapped in Anya's arms, prompting the older woman to hold her tighter. There was an unmistakable sheen of tears in Anya's hazel eyes, "This is my daughter, Selene. She has survived two years in this place…" Brushing a lock of the girl's soft auburn hair, Anya smiled blearily. Peering over at Raven, the two mothers shared a knowing smile.

Raising his eyebrows in shock, Finn let out a shaky breath. Gingerly, Anya rested her free hand on his shoulder. "Those that have disappeared, the lost ones whose bodies were never found…the mountain men have been bringing them here. There are Reapers and our sisters of the Sea as well. These men have been collecting members of every tribe. They have been studying them, watching them…as far as I can gather, only those who have rebelled have been killed." Anya cradled Selene closer to soothe her fears, "Now that I have you back, my child, nothing will ever harm you again. I swear that on my life…"

A murmuring of noise from below dragged everyone's attention to the door to the prison. "Bellamy, you better get down here _now_," Octavia hollered from the stairwell. In a flash, Bellamy and Clarke were headed down the stairs with Murphy and Raven hot on their heels. Anya and Finn needed a moment alone. People of all sizes, shapes, colors, and creeds milled around looking pale, frightened, and weak; Grounders and Reapers, Sea Sirens and Nomads alike were connected in the shared experience of their captivity. Bellamy pushed forward until he reached the huddled mass that sat at Octavia's feet.

Murphy almost didn't recognize her at first. Her skin was sallow and pale and her hair was wild. Every time she took a breath, a cough rattled in her chest. It was pitiful to watch her try and stand up. Murphy bent to help her but when she turned toward him her face was stained with hot, silent tears. "Shit…" Murphy cursed. He suddenly felt weak in the knees, "Charlotte?" Raven's eyes widened as she looked at the little girl and then back at Murphy. He had gone almost as pale as Charlotte. "Didn't she jump off a cliff?"

Clarke stepped in immediately, brushing off Raven's question. Kneeling beside Charlotte, she pressed a hand to her forehead, "She's burning up. I think it might be pneumonia. Bellamy, we need to get her back to camp right now." Bellamy was already pulling Charlotte into his embrace, holding her to him tightly, "It's alright, I've got you…" Bellamy murmured soft words of encouragement into Charlotte's ear until the girl finally relaxed against him. Bellamy peered at Murphy as if waiting for him to react…but Murphy's face was a blank slate. Clarke was giving orders to secure the base and bring anyone who was injured or ill back to camp where she could treat them; the rest of the refugees were offered asylum until they could return to their people and their lives.

Following everyone upstairs, Murphy purposefully stayed well behind Bellamy and Clarke as they carried Charlotte toward camp. Raven and Murphy silently walked until they were nearly at the boundary line. Raven had given him a chance to open up and to tell her about everything that happened but it was clear that he wasn't going to make it easy on her. She touched Murphy's shoulder gently and he flinched as if he'd been burned. "Don't…" Murphy turned away coldly. Raven frowned markedly in response, "You just found out that the little girl you thought you drove to suicide is actually alive. Excuse me if I'm a little bit confused about your reaction! I thought you might be happy to know you're not a killer—"

"I _am_ a killer!" Murphy thundered, "I murdered Connor. I was going to kill Bellamy and Clarke for their part in trying to hang me." He took a ragged breath, "Fuck, I was ready to rip Finn and Anya apart for hurting you. Charlotte was only the beginning..." Grasping her shoulders, he stared into her fathomless dark eyes, "She's terrified of me, Raven! What if our daughter looks at me like that? What if our son grows to fear me because I'm a monster? I _hurt_ people."

"Murphy, you _didn't_ kill Bellamy and Clarke. Finn and Anya are still standing too! You've put aside your differences and we've been fighting alongside them this whole time." She argued, "Never once did I worry that you were going to fly off the handle. You're not the same man you were when you came down here, Murphy. You have to accept that." Grabbing him by his coat, Raven turned Murphy to face her. "You made some bad choices, you lost your way before… but now you have a chance to make it right. Embrace it!"

Murphy closed his eyes; the feelings roiling inside him were new and strange. He was being slammed with such overwhelming guilt; it warred against the love he had for Raven and their child. Seeing Charlotte so small and broken made him hurt for her. But it also brought forth the bubbling, wrathful anger that had nearly consumed him. The fact that the dark part of him still lived was a terrifying discovery. Charlotte had been the reason they'd nearly hanged him; he could not let it go so easily. His emotions were chaotic and Murphy knew he deserved no resolution. There was no absolution for the suffering he had caused. He would have to take his punishment once and for all. Sighing heavily, Murphy tried in vain to stem the raging tide. "I'm tired, Raven, and you must be too. Let's just get back to camp…"

Raven yearned to push through the wall that Murphy was erecting around himself. Didn't he know that he wasn't the same man who had chased a little girl to the edge of a cliff? Couldn't he realize that he'd made himself into a husband and father, someone who was an asset not only to her but also their camp? All he could see was the darkness. Raven was determined to make him realize that beyond everything he had done and all the anger inside him, there was still goodness in his heart. Raven knew that what he needed, more than anything, was time. Nodding in acquiescence, Raven cuddled against Murphy as they continued their trek through the murky night ahead of them.

Twilight was waning by the time Murphy and Raven entered camp, yet there was a whole pile of people cheering and heralding them as heroes. Murphy walked silently past, ignoring the well-wishers and the revelers just a bit too drunk on moonshine. He headed straight for the tent and when he got there, he slumped down inside. Raven knelt beside him moments later. Gingerly, she pulled his jacket off and kissed him softly. Murphy cradled Raven close to him, holding her against his body as they settled in their bed. "I love you," Raven said softly, resting her head against his chest. Murphy closed his eyes, "I love you too…"

Despite the exhaustion that welled in his veins, Murphy only managed a couple hours of sleep that night. Raven needed her sleep, she had been pushing herself too far these last few weeks. He was careful not to wake her as he headed out at first light. Many had returned, unfamiliar faces milling outside and learning their new surroundings. It should have warmed him to know that he played a hand in freeing these prisoners, some of which had spent most of their lives in captivity. But Murphy felt nothing…he headed outside the wall to where the graves lined the trees. Little markers were all the remained. Connor's grave was the freshest, sitting beneath an ancient oak tree. Murphy's cobalt eyes flicked back to the smallest grave, the ceremonial one that had been dug for Charlotte.

"She's been asking for you…"

Murphy whipped around, startled by the intrusion. Bellamy stood there with his arms folded over his chest, "Charlotte, I mean. She's asking for you." Murphy clenched his fist as he shook his head violently, "No, I can't…I can't see her."

Bellamy let out a heavy breath, "Look, I get it. This set everything off: getting hanged and banished. You have a right to be pissed. But she's a sick little girl…" Closing the distance between them, Bellamy stood at Murphy's side. "Clarke said the pneumonia is bad. There's a chance she might not pull through."

"This is emotional blackmail," Murphy snarled.

"Yeah well I don't have anything else to leverage with, Murphy." Bellamy snapped back, "Charlotte is…special to me. She reminds me of Octavia. Hell, she even reminds me of myself…" Dragging a hand through his dark hair, Bellamy fought against the pain that stabbed through him. "I admit it. I lost it when Charlotte confessed. You were a much easier target, Murphy. You make it easy not to like you!" He closed his eyes, "Mistakes were made and Charlotte knows the part she played in that. It's why she jumped off that cliff."

Murphy drew in a ragged breath, "How the fuck did she even survive!?"

Clarke's soft voice broke through to Murphy as she eased beside Bellamy, slipping her hand into his. "Below the cliffs there was a deep ravine filled with water, it broke her fall. She washed up on the shore and the mountain men fished her out of the water. Afterwards they brought her to Mount Weather. She's been fighting illness for weeks now and I'm afraid—" Clarke's voice cracked and Bellamy dragged her into his arms. Clarke took strength from Bellamy's embrace and let out a shaky breath. "I've started her on seaweed tea and wrapped her up in blankets but…she's slipping." Reaching outward, Clarke grasped Murphy's arm, "Please, Murphy, she's calling for you. Go to her, before it's too late…"

A lump formed in Murphy's throat as he turned his gaze momentarily to the graves. Nodding slowly, he started back up the hill into camp. Pausing at the opening of the drop ship, Murphy took a shaky breath. He could hear her whimpers as he climbed to the second level of the drop ship. Clarke had wrapped Charlotte up like a newborn infant, swaddling her to keep her warm. As soon as she saw him, she began to fight against the cocoon of blankets. "Stop…" Murphy said softly, kneeling beside where she lay, "You need to save your strength."

"Murphy," Charlotte croaked, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lied, I should have—"A fit of coughing tore through her, stealing her breath away. Murphy immediately dragged her into his arms, holding her as she choked and sputtered. "Charlotte, stop!" His tone was harsher now. She was so thin and frail that even touching her frightened him, yet as he rubbed her back, she seemed to calm. "I know why you did it. I understand that you were scared…and I also understand making bad choices. I shouldn't have come after you like that. You have to know that I never wanted any of this to happen…"

Murphy offered her a sip of tea and Charlotte took a small swallow. She snuggled against Murphy's chest, resting her head in the crook of his neck. "I just wanted the nightmares to stop. Now I know it was stupid. I hurt so many people: you and Wells and…Bellamy and Clarke…" Hot tears burned down her cheeks, dampening Murphy's shirt as she clung to him. "I should die for what I've done…"

"No." There was no question of Murphy's feelings now. Brushing the sweat-soaked blonde hair from her face, he felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted off his soul. "You deserve the chance to make amends for what you've done the same way that I have. You're no worse than I am, Charlotte. You need to live. I _want_ you to live…" Charlotte's bright eyes peered up at him and wiped away what remained of his rage. "Everyone deserves a second chance." Murphy peered down at her, "You need to rest and save your strength, Charlotte."

Charlotte coughed again, her chest rattling once more. "Thank you, Murphy," She managed to whisper before her consciousness began to wane. Holding her close to him, he cradled her as she fell asleep. Murphy once thought that forgiveness was for the weak. Now he knew how much strength it took and he didn't believe that anymore. Raven and the baby were his second chance and he wasn't going to squander it.

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**Next Up: The Epilogue!**

**HUGE SHOUTOUT to my Beta JustVisiting80 who has stood by me as I wrote this little fic for my darling Murphy. I still like him, guys. Don't count him out yet. I don't think he's dead! I STILL BELIEVE! **

**If you want an awesome fic rec, check out JustVisiting80s newest Bellarke piece 'Fire and Ice'. It is freaking AMAZING and picks up at the end of Season 1 of the 100. I can't wait for more! **

**Please read and review. Also if you're interested I have a little blurb I wrote at the end of this that didn't make the cut (because of the epilogue) but if you want to read the raw almost-ending of this fic, shoot me a PM! I will share! Review away!**


	13. Epilogue

Murphy sat outside the drop ship, his hands covering his face. Exhaustion radiated off him in waves but he refused to let it overtake him. Forcing himself to take deep breaths, he wiped at the hot tears burning down his cheeks. One soft hand clasped over his shoulder and Murphy looked up. "Fuck…" He growled. "Of course it's you…"

"I knew it," Bellamy snorted derisively, "You've gone _soft_." Murphy pushed Bellamy hard but the taller man just kept laughing. "Aw come on, Murphy, I think it's sweet." Clasping Murphy's shoulder, Bellamy grinned. "Congratulations, I'm happy for you two."

Murphy's face cracked into a smile, "She's fucking _perfect_. I almost can't believe she's finally here." Raven had gone into labor yesterday and Murphy hadn't once left her side. Shortly after daybreak, she had given birth to the most beautiful baby girl that Murphy had ever seen. All the love that had been burning in his heart for the tiny creature suddenly hit a fevered pitch when he held her in his arms for the first time. It was only under threat of physical violence that he handed the baby back to Raven to give mother and daughter a chance to bond. Clarke requested time to examine Raven and the infant and Murphy had very reluctantly complied. Yet he was unwilling to stray far from the drop ship in case his girls needed him. _His girls_…that thought made him grin like a fool. "I have a _daughter_. I'm a father." Shaking his head in disbelief, Murphy gazed over at Bellamy, "I never thought I'd say those words..."

Bellamy smiled knowingly. Although he didn't yet have a child of his own, he had raised Octavia from infancy and had more recently stepped into the role as father to Charlotte. It had been touch and go there for a while but the girl was a fighter; Charlotte didn't share his blood but it was clear she had inherited the Blake stubbornness nonetheless. His attention shifted as Clarke stepped out of the drop ship. He could instantly tell that she was fatigued and he wrapped his arm around her waist to steady her. Unthinkingly, he rubbed small circles over her back, "Everyone doing okay?

Clarke smiled and faced Murphy, even as she leaned against Bellamy for support. "Raven and the baby are just fine. Raven is tired but that's to be expected. You're a lucky man, Murphy." Clarke smiled gently, "She told me to send you in, when you're ready." Clarke briefly rested a hand on Murphy's shoulder before he went hurtling back into the drop ship.

Raven was propped up on a cot with pillows and blankets. The newborn child in her arms let out a mewling cry and she chuckled softly, "Someone's been asking for daddy." Sitting up carefully, she kissed Murphy gently as he happily, eagerly accepted the child into his arms again. Gazing at him with a mixture of soul-crushing exhaustion and all-encompassing love, Raven smiled softly. Leaning back, she let out a soft sigh. Her body was aching and she would soon succumb to the need to sleep. "I want to thank you…"

Murphy couldn't stop staring at this perfect, beautiful little being in his arms. Yet when Raven started speaking, he reluctantly tore his gaze away to frown at her, "For what, Raven, I didn't do anything? You were the one who carried the child, you gave birth to her. I should be thanking _you_…and believe me, I am going to spend the rest of our lives doing that." Murphy pressed a soft kiss to Raven's cheek. "You are so brave…"

"I would never have been brave if you weren't by my side. You've been amazing since day one." Raven let out a shaky breath, "This is where it all started, you know? Right here, in this drop ship. You were there when I needed you the most. If you hadn't insisted that we share a tent that night, who knows where I would've ended up…"

Heart twisting in his chest, Murphy shook his head, "Raven, you saved me. Before I met you I made so many mistakes. I would've murdered half this camp if you hadn't believed in me and showed me that I could be better." He let out a shaky breath, "The truth is that until you came into my life, I had nothing to live for and nothing left to lose." He smiled, "I know in my heart that if you hadn't come into my life, I'd have ended my short life in a shallow grave. I'd never have made my peace with Bellamy, Clarke, and Charlotte. I'd never be the father of the most beautiful baby I've ever seen…"

Tears burned in Raven's eyes as she let out a soft laugh, "I love you, Murphy, and I'm so glad that you came into my life. You may not think so but you saved me as much as I've saved you." Murphy didn't look like he believed it but he was far too engrossed in staring at their child. The child gripped Murphy's finger and he dropped a tender kiss to her downy head. There was never a more beautiful sight than father and daughter. "Are you disappointed? That it's a girl, I mean…"

"Are you kidding?" Murphy's head shot up. "Boy, girl, half-monkey, part-Reaper…I don't _care_, Raven. I love her and I love you too." The infant was pink and healthy with a patch of dark hair over the crown of her head. When she opened her eyes they were soft and blue; it seemed impossible but they mirrored Murphy's almost exactly. Clarke told them that most babies were born with blue eyes and they'd likely change as the child grew older…but he could see himself in this perfect child whether she shared his blood or not. "What are we going to call her?"

"Yeah I guess we should give her a name. People are going to be asking," Raven smiled wryly. "You should name her."

Murphy cleared his throat several times, "_Me_?" When she nodded, he chuckled, "Are you sure that you want to leave something that important up to me?" Gazing down at the angel that slept in his arms, he licked his lips. For the longest time, he just stared at her, "I think we should call her Grace. I—" He looked up and met Raven's teary gaze, "You don't like it. I'm not—"

"I love it," Raven sobbed softly, "its perfect. Grace Murphy." This child was their grace and salvation. Murphy stood and settled on the edge of the cot. Kissing him tenderly, she wiped her face. In this moment, everything that was in the past suddenly seemed a distant memory. Raven was no longer the unwanted, unloved child left to fend for herself on the Ark. She wasn't the vulnerable child leaning on Finn for support and comfort or the spurned woman who didn't yet understand what real love was. Shifting to give Murphy more room, she rested her head against her husband's shoulder. This was what her life was meant to be.

"I love you, Raven."

"I love you too, John."

In that very moment, Murphy felt as if he had been pulled back from the flames of hell. He had blazed down the road to perdition. For so long he had lost himself in the anger and the fear. Yet Raven's tenderness and love had granted him mercy. No longer was he doomed to suffer a life of hatred and depravity. He was a husband and a father to Grace. Raven and he had built a home on the foundation of mutual respect and love. Today, John Murphy had been pardoned of his sins and it was truly the happiest moment of his life.

**THE END**

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**I don't even know if people are still reading this story. Nobody's reviewed in a while, but I hope that you will please take a minute to review the story as a whole piece. Remember, I don't do this for money. I do it for pleasure and to keep my audience entertained. Hopefully I've done that. Not sure what my next project will be...but I'm open to suggestions. Thanks for all your support!**

**HUGE shoutout to my beta JustVisiting80 who not only edits this work but is writing a new 100 piece called Fire and Ice that is so amazing it blows me away. She is the real brains of this operation! Go read and bask in her amazingness! **


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